Spoof news snippets from Wednesday 5 March 2008
Walmart even caters to Mother Nature
Category 5 hurricane spirals towards South America but stops first at WALMART because of their really low prices which collided with its ridge of high pressured employees.
Finally, Technology is catching up
Bell Tone now has a hearing aid powerful enough to hear people having sex 2 years from now.
Confessions of a Reagan Fondler
Former presidential candidate Mitt Romney's position on same sex marriage: Doggystyle.
Psychosomatic Discovery
Dr. Phil is living proof that diarrhea is an emotion.
Food channel Emeril launching new fundraiser
Desperate for attention Emeril has debut his punches for lunches campaign, "Smack a bitch and get a free sandwich."America is hungry for pain.
Sad but believable
Bush met with his cabinet today bemusing government operatives with his own absence as they later found him sitting on the floor of the oval office Indian style playing a game of checkers with a Bombay chest.
Proof that war is an aphrodesiac
Israelis pulled out of Gaza today who was bent over a chair as Hamas celebrated its rocketry by masturbating in unison.
Turkey launches ground operation in Iraq
Thousands of turkeys have been deployed today as a ground incursion in pursuit of indoctrinating separatist Kurdish rebels with the parables of Thanksgiving.
Britt Hume Falls Asleep On Air
Fox News execs upset after viewers don't notice the difference
Favre Movie Flops
"Bend it like Brett" a big disappointment, says film studio.
Michael Moore Announces Next Film Project
"Fatso" said to be scathing indictment of Michael Moore's personal health care system
First White African American
Charlize Theron announced today that she will become an American citizen, due to how much she works in the States. Ms. Theron will become the first white African American recorded in history.
Was Tennis Champ Replaced by Crack Chump?
The International Tennis Federation is investigating claims that Roger Federer was using Pete Doherty as his 'double' when he lost to Wimbledon hopeful Andy Murray last week.