Spoof news snippets from Saturday 30 August 2008
Police Discover Ashes In Fire-ravaged Building
Forensics experts have discovered what they say are "ashes" in the burnt-out shell of a house in Nottingham.
Act of God?
A Lincoln church which was going to be turned into a mosque has been severely damaged by a fire. It is claimed to be an 'Act of God' but the question is; which one?
Blackpool Illumination
Energy cutbacks have forced Blackpool to use just one low-energy light bulb, a candle and several strategically placed mirrors. This year, it will be a case of 'Smoke and Mirrors', says Arthur Watt.
Blackpool Illuminations to switch-off early!
Famed the world over, Blackpool Illuminations will be closed after only one month. A Blackpool Council Official blamed rising energy bills and said they will run to the end of September only.
Hope for sufferers
A breakthrough in embryo research means scientists can now create many new diseases. "This is great news for all long-suffering hypochondriacs" says Dr Stefan Nerd, a victim himself.
Ignorance forecast
The cost of inflation is set to soar if the rate of living index expands to record interest levels. With the economic downturn rising, shares in dips could fall say expert analysts at the King's Arms.
John Edwards Back on College Speaking Trail
Topics to include discourse on Abstinence VS Safe Sex at nations' colleges.Fee will be $65,000, up from the $55,000 he got for speaking about POVERTY!
Osama Sues Obama
Following news that Norwegian-American, Lans Krona, will be made stand-by running mate, Osama Bin Laden said, "Obama, Biden and Lans is obviously just an anagram of my name, I'll see him in court!"