Spoof news snippets from Thursday 28 August 2008
Tankers Collide in English Channel
Two tankers carrying paint collided in the English Channel today. One carrying blue paint and the other, red paint.
This left the entire crew of both ships marooned.
Crop Circles Found In Woman's Hair
A 36-year-old mother-of-two had the shock of her life this morning, when she woke to find crop circles in her hair. Mary Smith's daughter Amy, 4, told her: "Mum, your hair looks daft!"
Survey Says...
Obama and McCain are locked in a virtual tie in the area of voter apathy.
Vehicle Hijack latest:
A lorry loaded with brand-new file folders was hijacked on the M25. Later the same day, a truck carrying boxes of Post-its was stolen. Police believe the robberies were the work of organized crime.
A lucky Medicine
A doctor reports that the medicine he has invented has a side effect - short-term memory loss. His patients have already paid him 3 or 4 times. He will soon be very rich.
Man changes Pants in Bank Row
A man has had his banking password from 'Lloyds is pants' to 'Oh not it's not' by a former banking employee. He could not change it again to 'Barclays is better'. Banks obviously lack sense of humour.
Kate Moss' New Perfume!
Kate Moss has released a new perfume! What's it called? Cocaine Seduction or Hint of Shit?
Spammers Sued by Facebook and MySpace
Furious spammers complain, "Just because we don't want to be their friends, they're dragging our butts into court."
Spielberg in running to direct Obama administration
After the success of his 2008 Dem Convention film endorsing Obama, Spielberg now tops the list to direct the entire four year administration. Will Smith to play Obama, cute kids copyright Pixar.
Barack Obama Formally Nominated for President
Hillary's camp demands a do-over!
John McCain Wants to use Vice Presidential Nominee Choice to Split Democratic Party
If I name Hillary as my running mate, I'll split the Democrats and steal half their votes, but then it's possible that no Republicans will vote at all.
Ungrateful Barack Obama Accepts Democratic Crown At Coronation
Barack Hussein Obama reacted angrily when asked when he would be accepting his jewled crown at the DNC. Grabbing his crotch, the part time basketball player said, "I've got your jewels right here!"
Obama Arrives 3 Days late to DNC Coronation..Claims GPS Malfunctioned!
But Michelle Malkin said he had been busy real estate shopping in Nev., Cal. and Fl. for some deals and had secured 9 no-doc loans thereby placing him ahead of John McCain in the Real Estate Polls.