Spoof news snippets from Thursday 21 August 2008
Divorce Pending
The latest Marvel Comic reports that Spider-Man's marriage has fallen apart after more than 20 years . His lawyer claims that he has been ignoring his wife and spending far too much time on the web.
New Playboy for Married Men
Hugh Hefner has just published a new edition of Playboy magazine for married men. It has the same centerfold every month.
Celebrity Storks On Strike
They're tired of delivering twins to celebrities and getting paid for a single delivery.
Research Shows Mississippi, West Virginia, and Alabama Are the Most Obese States
...and getting more obese, as fatties from all over the U.S. head to these three states to find fat comfort zones.
Tyson Gay Drops Baton
"This has to be the first time in freaking history a gay guy hasn't been able to hold on to a baton," said George Bush.
Gary Glitter Takes Up Residence In Bangkok
Gary Glitter has cut short his world tour, and will set up home in Bangkok's Suvarnabhumi airport, sources close to the filthy, disgusting, paedophile say.
Olympic Sprint Batons Coated In Grease
Beijing: Batons used in the sprint relays were coated with grease. Britain, the US, Italy, France and Trinidad all lost their grips, but surprisingly, Greece held on.
Gary Glitter to Entertain Abroad
...since preadolescents are unavailable at the moment.
New McCain Anti-Obama Ad
Off-camera announcer suggests: "Perhaps Obama's pro-choice parents made the WRONG CHOICE!"
Panic in Obama Camp
He stops to think, but finds he just can't start up again!