Spoof news snippets from Wednesday 19 September 2007
Madeleine the Movie
Producers say shows promise of being another "Never Ending Story"
Wobbley Arch
The arch on the new Wembley Stadium was not supposed to lean it was revealed today. A spokesperson for Multiplex, the constructors, said 'We've known for a while but we didn't want to say anything'.
Pope Out To Lunch
Vatican officials were astounded today when US Secretary of State, Gondola Ricea, arrived for her lunch date with the Pope. Dr Ricea had to be told, with extreme diplomacy, that the Pope was already doing lunch with someone else.
Cobblers to Olympics
Shoemakers are jumping for joy after cobbling was chosen to be one of the new events at the London Olympics. Both sprint re-heeling and pairs freestyle willl be included in the 2012 tournament.
'Freebird' spooks 'Southern Man'
Folk singer Neil Young claims he is being haunted by ghost of Lynrd Skynrd singer and plane crash victim Ronnie Van Zandt.
Collins to 'glove up.'
Joan Collins will wear gloves on all her public appearances from now on after pictures showed her hands are 50 years older than her face.
Polytunnel pickers protest
Britian's strawbery pickers are staging a 24 hour strike to protest against 'Green Finger' a condition caused by prolonged exposure to strawberry leaves.
John Kerry Stunned By Taser Incident
Guess he shouldn't have gotten in the officers' way!