Spoof news snippets from Thursday 11 October 2007
Miserable sod cracks one off
Jack Dee smiled yesterday. Eyewitnesses say it was hideous.
Gaffney - Eastenders Tough Guy?
Robbie (Dean Gaffney) from Eastenders is f**king Wellard apparently. Wellard is reported to think 'he could do better'.
Slimy ageing teen fool, Peter Andre, is not actually made of plastic it was discovered today. His wife however, is, by at least 12%.
New show to be aired just after The Archers
Winchester Gangster and black-emulator, Tim Westwood, will host a new Radio 4 rap show.
Anti Social Clothing
Hoodys will now automatically be sold with ASBOs.
Greasy beanpole Pete Doherty was caught not taking drugs today. Fans were incensed by his betrayal.
The North sea has flooded. Fish and whales are being relocated to Seaworld in California for immediate exploitation.
200 tons of democracy were dropped on Iraq today.
Lesser Spotted Celebrity...Spotted
Dame Edna Everage was spotted punching a horse in the 'Wild Bean Cafe', located within Slough's BP Petrol Station.
BBC News 25/8
BBC have launched their new News Channel, which will operate 25hrs a day, 8 days a week in a bid to boost viewers.