Spoof news snippets from Friday 16 February 2007
Drunk Fisherman Catches Shark With Bare Hands
- Correction...bare "HAND"
Teen Has Hiccups For Three Weeks, No Cure In Sight
- "I sure wish someone can help me soon", pleads high school teenager, Ferris Bueller.
Obama, Clinton Battle for African-American Endorsements
- NAACP: We believe it is about time we put 100% backing on a black candidate and we will do just that, as soon as one comes along.
Study: Fish Good For Pregnant Women
- Only drawback is keeping balance on boat.
Retired NBA Star Hardaway Says He Hates 'Gay People'
- "What's wrong with being melancholy"
Longevity Linked To Learning
- "I knew that high school diploma would come in handy some day"
Turtle Eaten by Golden Retriever Lives
- "Turtle not shaken. Knew all 'retievers' suffer with anorexia nervosa."
Scientists Track Fish to Understand Climate Change
- Scientist working under a $340 million grant believe, this fish has the answer. "If only we knew how to communicate with it."
Adventurer to Open Online Education Center in Antarctica
- The frozen continent will share its many secrets to: "The many ways to catch a cold."
How Severely Should a Teacher Be Punished For Showing Pornography?
- They should have their pants pulled down & spanked...slowly.
Jet Blue Strands Passengers for Hours on Planes at NY Airport
Bored passengers try to entertain themselves by singing "Am I Blue?"
Creationists Lose in Latest Science Curriculum Vote in Kansas
God is disappointed with the defeat but has told his staff, "We'll bide our time. Even THEY say it's survival of the fittest."