Spoof news snippets from Monday 27 August 2007
Health officials warning
Health officials warned today that if current trends continue, in 80 years 210% of Americans will weigh over 400 pounds.
Cheney's Airplane Has Mechanical Problem
CCN - Vice President Dick Cheney's airplane had a small mechanical problem. Unfortunately, there were no safety concerns and the aircraft was scheduled to make a planned refuelling stop in Singapore after his trip to Australia.
Bidding for Mummified Walrus Penis Bone, 4 Feet Long, Starts at $16,000
Bidding on a 4-foot-deep petrified walrus vagina expected soon.
Obi Wan Kenobi
Grizzled Jedi Knight Obi Wan Kenobi is to be the shock replacement for Michael Parkinson on his chat-show when the famed Barnsley Man leaves his show.
ET - TheSchool Play
1980's blub-fest ET is to be turned into a School Play, highlighting the dangers of underage drinking to a new audience.
Poltergeist - The School Play
1980's movie Poltergeist is to be turned into a School play, highlighting the dangers of Television to school age children.
Elvis Lives
Elvis Presley is now thought to be alive, and is a secret member of the Bush Family. Elvis Bush is a loner, with a passing resemblance to the erstwhile singer.
Northern Exposure - The Musical
1990's Television Show Northern Exposure is to be turned into a Musical, featuring such songs as 'Maggie May, but she probably won't' and 'Look after the Mice, and the Moose will look after itself'.