Spoof news snippets from Thursday 2 August 2007
Train Leaving Boston at 3:15 Traveling at 35 mph Collides with Train Leaving Chicago at 4:00 Traveling at 26 mph
"This was a math problem just waiting to happen," said investigator Arnold Pillbox...
Armstrong won't return to 2008 Tour de France despite taunting from Matthew McConaughey
(Houston, TX)-Lance Armstrong will not be returning to the 2008 Tour de France after a one year break, despite taunting from friend Matthew McConaughey, who said he "didn't have the balls for it."
Sen. Chris Dodd Leads in Neo-Nazi vote
(Washington D.C.)-A new poll reveals that Senator Chris Dodd is leading in the Neo-Nazi vote over his Democratic opponent, Hillary Clinton, after the Neo-Nazi group that runs non-profit organization, skinheads.com, realized that Sen. Clinton was, in fact, not a man, and withdrew their support.
Catholic Virgins at higher risk for STIs
(Harvard, Massachussets)- A new Harvard study shows that Catholic virgins are at a higher risk for sexually transmitted infections. The STI is acquired by the Catholic virgin through an all-too-frequent, dangerous, nonsexual encounter called an "Immaculate Infection."