Spoof news snippets from 2006
There were 34 spoof news snippets published in 2006. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get all the news snippets from a day in this month.
Stingray added to FBI "ten most wanted" list
"We wanted to put another polygamist on the list," an FBI spokeswoman said, "but we'll take what we can get..."
Bush to attempt orgasm
President Bush announced today that he will attempt to achieve an orgasm after 6PM this evening
Nestlé Acquires Jenny Craig
One-stop shopping for fatties and thinnies!
CHENEY'S GOT A GIRL FRIEND!
CHENEY'S GOT A GIRL FRIEND!
CHENEY'S GOT A GIRL FRIEND!
Dick Cheney blasts 78 year old man with shotgun.
"I thought he was a Democrat!"
It Finally Happened
Y2.006K Virus Kills Millions.
Billions Injured.
Trillions Upset.
U2 Members Deny They Wanted Sack Bono for Charity Work
"Sack him, yes. Not for charity work but anyone who dresses like him, has that haircut, wares those glasses and still thinks he's cool has to be a complete idiot." Said a spokesman
Italy feels affects of rainstorms
Today we had a report come in from our Italian friends that after a severe rainstorms it is thought that most of Venice is underwater.
Palestinians elect chickpea dip.
Breaking news from the Palestinian territories suggests that the first election in ten years has returned Hoummous as the majority party.
On a Bender
Charles Kennedy has decided to run again for leadership of the Liberal Democrats declaring:
"I'm not the only one that's been on a bender recently!"
Surverys Reveal Findings
1. 49% of Americans have choked on pretzels
2. 34% of teenagers don't know the capital of England
3. 51% of song covers are by Westlife
4. 67% of us can't get enough of statistics
Parrots Tapped As A Weopon Against Avian Flu
"HA HA", declared a top WHO Official, "These parrots will help communication between man and bird."
Dis-Guisewite
Following weeks of violent protests against satirical Dutch cartoons depicting the prophet Mohammed, angry Islamic mobs appeared strangely ambivalent when presented with "Cathy" cartoon anthology.
Lieberman v. Lamont primary race, 2 weeks to go
A new phone campaign touts Sen. Lieberman's pro-choice record. Competitor Lamont rebutted contrastingly by citing his opposition to the war in Iraq.
Slovenia denies nuke deal
Officials in Slovenia's capital, Ljubljana, have denied trying to buy a nuclear bomb on eBay and from North Korea.
Sicilian Mafia fun run
a 10km fun run has been organised by the Siciilan Mafia in its contiued effort to improve its global image.
Ironically, bird flu spreads to Turkey
WHO amused today by bird flu's spread to the one country in the world named after a bird.
And finally...
A total of 47countries have signed a petition complaining about stuff that Americans aren't interested in.
Alito's Wife Cries, Constitution Dies
Judge Sam Alito's wife cried again today. Once her husband greases his way into the SCOTUS she'll have to purchase a new black ensemble for the Constitution's impending funeral.
No Sightings Of Elvis For Last 3 Years
Fans begin to wonder if the King may have died.
Hair today - Gone tomorrow
A shipment of hair restorer has been stolen form a factory in Eastbourne Uk. Police are combing the area!
FACE TRANSPLANT “A SUCCESS”
The only problem is, David Gest now wants his face back… (developing)
Cheney: "...the worst day of my life."
Troops sent to Iraq because of Cheney: "...the worst year of my life."
Bush Mulling missile strike on BBC HQ
US is planning to bomb BBC HQ in London after last nights Newsnight published details of a report by Human Rights First. The report set out in detail the murders in US custody.
Bush suggests parrots and airforce against bird flu
"I was right about them WMD and I am right about parrots and how they can communicate with people and birds. They'll translate.", said an upbeat Bush, "And the airforce will fight this pandemic."
Georgia to rule gay marriage appealing
Georgia will immediately rule same-sex marriage appealing. The Judge Constance C. Russell said the measure was one he found personally appealing.
REPORT'S COMING IN...
Reports are coming in that John Prescott, the Deputy Prime Minister, has done something usefull. We will bring you more news as we get it.
Horace Thomas
Kennedy wants Rosie Naked at border!
Ted Kennedy introduces legislation to post billboards of a naked Rosie O'Donnell on new wall at Mexican border. As Kennedy stated; "If that don't turn back these wetbacks, nothing will!"
FEDERLINE SAVES PENNY
Virgin Mobile launched its "Save the Penny" campaign with aspiring father Kevin Federline today. Expressed desire to save rocks, cast-off feathers, belly button lint, if sponsor steps forward.
MEN CHEER NEW STUDY -- BOOB JOBS GOOD FOR YOU
"It didn't ACTUALLY say THAT, but, but, but it IS good news, isn't it honey?" Hugh numbers of men say to theirwomen.
9 out of 10 Americans agree...
...Fidel Castro would make a better baseball commissioner than George W. Bush.
Silicone Gel Breast Implants Banned By Airlines
The FAA has announced that women with silicone gel breast implants will not be allowed access to air travel. Millions of women admit feeling deflated over decision.
Eggs are not Eggs claim boffins.
Boffins have sensationally claimed as clear as eggs is eggs, that in fact eggs are not eggs.