There were 124 spoof news snippets published in 2004. A selection of the best rated snippets is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get all the news snippets from a day in this month.

Order by:
Rating:

Obesity - core cause revealed

Scientists in the UK claim the alarming rise in obesity can be attributed to people eating more.

written by Harry Porter, 21 June 2004
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Wendy's restaurants to eliminate need for physical exertion

The US burger chain's new drive-through-only locations will forever save customers the calorie-burning effort of actually leaving, walking into the store, and returning to their cars.

written by The WB, 18 June 2004
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Survey Says.....

Bush and Kerry are locked in a virtual tie in the area of voter apathy.

written by Jack Van Gump, 25 October 2004
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Marines general: Falluja conquered

Until irrefutable evidence to the contrary surfaces in a few weeks, the US Marines and all Bush-controlled media will continue to claim that Falluja’s insurgents have been “totally wiped out.”

written by bkkRon, 15 November 2004
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UK House prices go into reverse

BBC News reported that UK house prices have gone into reverse. This Spoof reporter has just bought a six bedroom mansion for £000,005,1.

written by Bob, 12 January 2004
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Another Elvis Sighting

A man claiming to be Elvis Presley is being held, without charges, at the US base at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.
A senior US interrogator said yesterday, "We'll be keeping him here until he sings".

written by KendoMonkey, 23 February 2004
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Baskin-Robbins Introduces Explosive New Flavor

Ice cream chain Baskin-Robbins today introduced its newest flavor, called Iraqi Road. This light chocolate ice cream is studded with nuts, dates, and weapons of mass destruction.

written by Ilona Ronay, 20 June 2004
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Micheal Moore to Direct Britney Spears New Video

Rotund political activist Micheal Moore has confrimed he will direct Britneys new video, My Bush Is Scratchy. More later...

written by Stu B, 29 June 2004
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2004 Olympics ready in time for 2008 Olympics

Athens Olympic Committee announced construction work will be ready in time for 2008 Beijing Olympics. The announcement itself was delayed after allegation of corruption and financial difficulties.

written by Alfred J. McLaser, 28 March 2004
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Boost for Kerry!

John Kerry is to return to Vietnam to meet Luki Wan Ka, the teenager who had been in a coma since being shot by Kerry during the conflict. Doctors says that Luki hopes to become an American citizen!

written by Briant, 09 August 2004
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Bush Responds to Spanish Terrorist Attacks

"It's a good thing I've made the world so much safer from terrorism than it was before September 11, or imagine how bad it would have been!"

written by dalepetrie, 11 March 2004
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SNP rumours ignored

Rumours that Scottish Nationalist leader John Swinney is stand down because of dwindling interest in the Party have been largely ignored. An SNP spokesman said: “Whatever… who cares?”

written by Harry Porter, 21 June 2004
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Flu vaccine prices skyrocket...

proving, once again, that while the rich get richer, the poor get sicker.

written by bkkRon, 13 October 2004
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God adds commandment "Thou Shalt Not Ask Questions"

In a move clearly favoring President Bush, God amended the Ten Commandments today with an eleventh, "Thou Shalt Not Ask Questions." The White House declined comment.

written by Batfish Mulligan, 30 June 2004
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Joe Lieberman Seeks Republican Nomination

Joe Lieberman is switching parties to contest George Bush for the Republican nomination. A spokesman for Lieberman said, "Look at his stand on the issues, I think this makes more sense, don't you?"

written by dalepetrie, 29 January 2004
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'Queer Eye' to add Celebrities

The hit TV show 'Queer Eye' will add Bill Cosby and members from the Grateful Dead. The show will be called "I Spy a Queer Eye for a TieDye" and will move to the Family Channel's six a.m. slot

written by Boone Adams, 17 July 2004
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Presidential Hopeful Comes Out

US Presidential hopeful Joe Lieberman came out today during a news conference while campaigning in Delaware. Lieberman told a stunned crowd of more than 200 gatherers that he's "not really Jewish."

written by B. Elliot Stern, 04 February 2004
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Country Music Used as Homophobic propaganda!

The CIA have discovered coded messages being used in Country Music songs by The Statler Bros! The group have been summoned to The White House to meet President Bush and Toby Keith.

written by Briant, 06 August 2004
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Pensioners go to Pot

Three pensioners will appear in Northampton Magistrates Court later this week, charged with possession of cannabis. All are residents of the controversial Tambourine Mansions care home.

written by Harry Porter, 17 August 2004
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Babies Have Worst Hygene in Britain

A recent BBC report suggests that babies have the worst personal hygene of any UK demographic.

"The just crap right there in their pants" said a BBC spokesman, "they're worse than the scousers."

written by Tommy_Chewat, 20 March 2004
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PSU sues George W. Bush

The Political Satirists Union filed a lawsuit against the President, claiming that since his election campaign they lost $2.1million dollars from lost bookings.

written by Drúadan, 21 March 2004
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"Life Begins at 40" not true.

"Life Begins at 40" is not true, claimed a man given a just week to live on his fortieth birthday yesterday.

written by Nick J Moose, 25 March 2004
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First Lady Laura Bush to File for Divorce

Press Secretary Scott McLellan confirmed today that Laura Bush is filing for divorce.

"I'm tired of George constantly giveng me these little pills. They ruin my entire day ," Mrs. Bush said.

written by colorado right, 29 June 2004
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Iraq Sets June 30 Deadline for Hand-over of Power

The Ruling Council in Iraq has unanimously voted to return control to the U.S. after only one day
of evaluating the mess the country is in.

written by Jack Flash, 29 June 2004
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Monkey set to run large company.

Halliburton oils today announced that a trained chimp was to be made CEO of it's company.
One shareholder said today "Finally we'll have something intelligent running the show."

written by Ross Douglas, 21 April 2004
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Terrorist Cell Found Hiding in Michael Moore

The CIA announced today that three Jordanian terrorists were found hiding inside filmmaker Michael Moore. The terrorists are in U.S. custody, and Moore is said to be feeling "a lot less sluggish."

written by K J Heitz, 02 July 2004
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Tori Spelling to wed Baboon!-Luke and Garry not invited.

Tori Spelling and her beau will wed today in Malibu. Unfortunately Luke would not attend citing "Garry is never invited to these things, so I'm not going." NY times

written by Garry Robert Hixon Jr., 03 July 2004
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Saddam to run for Congress

Former Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein said today he will run for Congress in the 2008 US elections.
Republicans are said to admire the "tough" stance he took some years ago with Kurdish insurgents.

written by Dugger, 28 April 2004
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Can the VP

DUNSMORE, Iowa -- After careful consideration, Democratic candidate John Kerry has decided not to have a running mate in his bid for the Presidency.

written by Frank Cotolo, 04 July 2004
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STREISAND-MANSON TOUR ANNOUNCED

Legendary diva Barbara Streisand announced today that a 15 city tour will begin with goth-rocker Marilyn Manson.News media asked,"Why Manson?" Babs replied, "Manson,shmanson. I love his wardrobe!"

written by paul j kell, 05 July 2004
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Uncle Olig From "Unfortunate Events" Blames Evilness on Mother

In an unexpected move during his trial today, Olig of "A Series Of Unfortunate Events" fame blamed his evilness and illegal activities upon his mum, reportedly because she named him Olig, which is German for "smarmy" . . .

written by Erin leMaine, 03 January 2004
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Thou shalt obey me

The UK government is to try to pass laws criminalising incitement of religious hatred, Home Secretary and God-apparent David Blunkett says.

written by Harry Porter, 07 July 2004
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Evil Robot Attacks NY!

Many have been injured in the last few days. An evil 80 foot tall robot with plasma guns, grenade launchers and a bomb shooter is destroying New York City! Do not return to NY until further notices.

written by Don Michael, 08 July 2004
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Study Shows "Ignorance is Truly Bliss!"

Armed with the findings, President Bush announces he will disolve the Deprtment of Education and replace it with the "Department of Fun Stuff".

written by Woodpile, 11 July 2004
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George Bush Loves "Golden Girls"

Estelle Getty and company are back...at the White House! The President will proclaim July 16th "National Golden Girls Appreciation Day"

written by Charlie Van Horn, 13 July 2004
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The Spoof Security Stepped Up

Following death threats received at TheSpoof, our security team have been taken to "orange alert", we will go to "red alert" if we start seeing tanks on their way, as soon as we find the bulb.

written by Dr Jones, 26 January 2004
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Bin Laden found in strip club

Osama Bin Laden was found getting a blowjob in an LA strip club, more to follow soon.

written by Shamim, 21 July 2004
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BBC to be Downgraded

Following the reclassification of cannabis, Tony Blair has called for the BBC to be downgraded to a class F broadcaster, believing that it would “reflect the reputation of the corporation”

written by dannyd2004, 02 February 2004
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Martial law alert

little george just signed a bill, beginning May29th.calling for martial law over the entire nation,stating that anyone ,especially christian's,or the "poor will be shot if caught away from their home

written by Brute, 26 May 2004
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Footie News

The Chief Executive of the Football Association has resigned after his affair with Faria Alam. He said it was a mistake and that his ball control was about as good as England’s in Euro 2004.

written by Thompson & French, 07 August 2004
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Saudi Militants hold books hostage

Stolen from library at gunpoint, author of story gets laid

written by Charlie Van Horn, 29 May 2004
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World's end postponed

GRANTVILLE, Penn. -- A Jehovah's Witness who claimed the world would end next week has now said he was wrong by two weeks.

written by Frank Cotolo, 29 May 2004
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Bush lays wreath at tomb of the unknowns

Wreath later reports that it fell asleep during the ceremony, calls Bush "a lousy lay."

written by James Peters, 31 May 2004
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New UK Immigration Policy

The UK have confirmed that all passengers arriving at Heathrow would be strip searched by a male member of security. By way of explanation, a spokesman said: “Britney Spears is arriving next week.”

written by TomPhil, 12 February 2004
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Michael Moore is new CIA chief

It has been confirmed that Michael Moore will be the next CIA head. Moore offers extensive insights into world affairs and is seen to be pushing for a broad overhaul of how spy the agency operates.

written by Drew, 04 June 2004
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Leprechans "Beat the Snot Out" of Cupid

Outrage that Valentine's Day greeting cards are still being stocked on store shelves, there has been a Leprechaun uprising in several retail stores across America.

written by Ken Adrian, 15 February 2004
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"dead or alive"

former president Reagan,admitting he has faked his death so that he might sell iraq more weapons,has blamed bush jr. for starting the war with iraq,deplenishing their weapon's

written by Brute, 06 June 2004
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Torture at Abu Ghraib

Missing vowels, misplaced consonants

written by joespr, 08 June 2004
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Grand Canyon to be Filled

"It's really just a big hole," said President Bush, "someone could fall in and get hurt!"

written by Zap, 10 June 2004
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God resigns

I've had enough says bearded creator as he ponders retirement David Beckham is being considered as a replacement.

written by gareth davies, 15 June 2004
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Spoof obssessed with Cyprus

Today, Spoof writers submitted over 11,000,000 articles about Cyrpus. Noboy knows why.

written by Dan Bristol, 09 May 2004
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Military Banned in Toledo

In a show of solidarity with the Holy city of Najaf, city officials banned US military presence from the newly christened holy city of Toledo, now known as Holy Toledo.

written by aknzrdude, 16 June 2004
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Confucious a Little Confused

Chinese philosopher known as "Confucious" was really, really old. Most of the things he actually said was just dementia.

written by Ken Adrian, 10 March 2004
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Rasputin:

"...and just when do I get a chance to poke this Britney Spears peasant?"

written by Morgan Truce, 18 June 2004
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Bush so full of crap has extra anus fitted

Yes it's official old Dubya has had an extra anus fitted to enable swift evacuation of waste products, got the idea after having lunch with 2 dicks Clinton

written by gareth davies, 19 June 2004
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The U.S. Paper Dollar Scheduled To Be Out Of Print.

Washington:
Congress just passed a new law based on new RF technology. More that 85% of today's supermarkets, convenience stores and even vending machines have already converted!

written by Sir Luna, 16 March 2004
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Professionals Can't Fudge it after Budget

Lawyers have been told they must now inform the Home Secretary of any sneaky plans they have to get guilty criminals off the hook before trials can proceed.

written by Seriously, 18 March 2004
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Ghost of Daniel Fahrenheit Haunts Ray Bradbury

Daniel Fahrenheit inventor of 1st accurate thermometer has been haunting Ray Bradbury over improper use of his name in Fahrenheit 451. Has no desire to have name associated totalitarian governments.

written by Jack Flash, 22 June 2004
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Cheney Comes Out of Closet

"Dick" Cheney startled everyone by propositioning Sen. Leahy on the Senate floor yesterday. It is not known if Sen. Leahy accepted.

written by Jack Flash, 25 June 2004
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A Towel Story

Fossilized deck-chairs, beach towels and knackwurst sausages are found on Mar’s historic shoreline. NASA says this shows that German holiday-makers discovered Mar's first coastal resort.

written by Seriously, 24 March 2004
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Bush Asks: Wanna Come Out To Play?

It has been revealed in the last few minutes that the President has travelled to Iraq to ask Saddam to be friends with him. More on this story later.

written by Alex Quaeda, 30 March 2004
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Bush To Build Transatlantic Bridge

George W misses his buddy ,'poodle Blair' so much that he is to build a bridge across the'pond.
It is believed that the bridge will be the biggest ever built, with a span of some 4,000 miles.

written by Bob Muppet, 05 April 2004
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Good Samaritan Matrix Fan Shot Dead

A passerby attempting to aid woman being robbed was shot 27 times while dodging in slow motion.
Assailant reloaded twice.

written by Jack Flash, 01 July 2004
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Hussein Pleads Insanity

BAGHDAD, Iraq - Appearing before a judge, Saddam Hussein pled insanity, asked for another crack at Iran and endorsed the Bush/Cheney campaign.

written by Cole William Wineteeth, 02 July 2004
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NEWS FLASH -- JAKARTA, INDONESIA. . .

June 2 -- Today, Colin Powell purportedly said that former Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein should be presumed innocent unless proven guilty by the evidence. . . Honest!

written by Haroldo, 03 July 2004
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Koppel Correct.

Ted Koppel today defended his decision to list US dead by stating that "Americans need to be reminded about the war. far too many of them have the attention span of a goldfish"

written by Ross Douglas, 30 April 2004
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MLK Jr Turns Over In Grave

Magnetic soil imaging has confirmed that the famed civil rights leader rolled over in his grave after the media's millionth reference to the gay marriage debate as a civil rights issue.

written by AJ Margarine, 06 July 2004
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Man Embarrassed To Admit He Liked Toto

42-year-old Tulsa man suffered deep embarrassment when he admitted to friends that he had thought Toto was a good band. He denied, however, ever having liked Journey or Styx.

written by ZiaUl-Hack, 03 May 2004
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Less Atlas Because of Moore?

A leaked copy of the 2005 Rand-McNally USA atlas omits Davison, MI, hometown of radical filmmaker Michael Moore.

written by AJ Margarine, 06 July 2004
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Randy Rieves Goes Gay!

Randy Rieves, an undesireable person as it is has unbelieveably gone extremely gay! He says that he loves going to the local gay bar and getting poked in the rear. He obviously wasnt shy about it.

written by diabloisgod, 04 May 2004
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Mirror receives accolade

The Mirror newspaper was today voted “Best Comic” by a group of 10 year olds. The children, thought to be either male or female, were particularly impressed with “the lack of news content".

written by Terence William Howard, 05 May 2004
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Osama "dares" Bush in latest message

O. (Dirty) BLaden "dared" Pres. Bush to keep forces in Iraq in his latest taped message. Bush responded with a "double dare". A "physical challenge" is schedualed for later.

written by Kenneth Manboobs, 07 May 2004
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Dick Cheney Takes Michael Moore Hostage

VP says the film maker will be beheaded unless Keneth Lay is released. "Spring my boy, or this
f#%ker is toast!" Cheney says.

written by Woodpile, 11 July 2004
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Rubbish news reaches millions

Bob Thropple - a janitor at an EU outpost in Cuba - today declared his love for pop queen Britney Spears. Mrs. Thropple is thought to be devistated. Lord Lucan was unavailable for comment.

written by Terence William Howard, 08 May 2004
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George W. Bush makes up new word

progrowth he just said it in his State of The Union Address after 30 minutes of rambling on about Iraq.

written by KaneZen, 21 January 2004
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Lynn Cheney at it again, claims "Dick's stuff does stink"

Shortly after challenging Dick on civil unions Lynn Cheney broke from the party line again. Speaking to a women's group Friday, she broke from topic and declared, "He can really clear a room."

written by Kenneth Manboobs, 13 July 2004
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George Bush to run for President of Iraq

Us President George Bush is poised to make history when he today informs the senete of his decision to run for President in Iraq.

written by MikeJr, 13 May 2004
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Spate of 'Bonnet Rolls' instigates enquiry.

The metropolitan police ordered an enquiry into costs due to damage allegedly caused by 'a rogue element' rolling on the bonnets of squad cars. Former chief Sir Condon asked 'What are they thinking!'

written by Victoire, 15 May 2004
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Woman down to size 4, refuses to quit Adkins. Friends reportedly annoyed

After losing 15 excess pounds preparing for swimsuit season, Janie Morris continues her low carb obsession. Close friends believe diet "just gives her something to blab about."

written by Kenneth Manboobs, 14 July 2004
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UK's Oldest Woman Dies

Annie Boscombe, the UK's oldest woman, dies at 115 years of age and has to start all over again.

written by JJ Arcee, 19 May 2004
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Bush Appoints Dean Democratic Nominee, "Let's Skip All This Beaurocratic Bull Crap and Get to the Big Election&

Bush adds, "This is all just a waste of time anyway since I'll win with or without the most votes in November. Just another example of irresponsible spending by the Democrats."

written by Leanna Lawrence McCormick, 02 February 2004
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WMD Found!

The missing weapons of mass destruction have been found by US special forces in Iraq- buried in Saddam's back yard. Michael Moore is yet to comment (surprisingly!).

written by Alex Quaeda, 16 July 2004
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Iraqi governing council reject John Negroponte as US ambassador

The Iraqi governing council has demanded that an alternative US ambassador be chosen as Negroponte is to face human rights charges for atrocities in Honduras and Nicaragua.

written by Dansa, 24 May 2004
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Janet Jackson Responds

"I did it just to show that Michael isn't the only boob in the family."

written by buzzie, 02 February 2004
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Verizon Wireless Gives Up

Yesterday, Verizon Wireless gave all cellular stations, employees and property to Cingular Wireless. Denny Strigl (CEO) claims that he was just feeling generous that day.

written by Don Michael, 22 July 2004
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George Bush to World: "Do Over"

Apparently relying on old golf strategy to undue his utter reckless invasion and occupation of Iraq, George Bush declared a "mulligan" at a recent press conference. Details to follow.

written by The Swimmer, 25 May 2004
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US Caps Iraq Casualties at 911

The White House has announced that only 911 American soldiers will be allowed to die in Iraq. The rest must stay the course.

written by Lucrecia, 27 July 2004
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Microsoft Files for Bankruptcy

REDMOND WA--In a special news conference that both Steve Jobs and Bill Gates attended, it was announced that Microsoft filed for bankruptcy. More to come as it is released.

written by snappy, 27 May 2004
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NASCAR cancels '500'

CARMEL, Ind. -- NASCAR officials say the Indianapolis 500, has been cancelled due to a lack of gasoline.

"We will, still sell all NASCAR-related items on the site," said a spokesman.

written by Frank Cotolo, 29 May 2004
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tenet wants job back

george tenet announced that he doesn't want to resign, due to death threats made by iraqi and al qaeda members.

written by snappy, 03 June 2004
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J. Lopez Marries Marc Anthony

Will rule Egypt, but has not yet given birth to twins.

written by joespr, 08 June 2004
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Air America Hires Les Nessman

By Thanksgiving more than the ratings will drop!

written by Charlie Van Horn, 09 June 2004
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Pretzel Alert!

Pretzel vendors everywhere are on Red Alert after the President choked on another pretzel, He's currently being treated in Washington General Hospital for first degree choking.

written by Alex Quaeda, 18 February 2004
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Dean accepts new post as cheerleading coach

Howard Dean was selected today as Dean of the Cheerleading Sciences Department at University of Vermount. Dean Dean was unavailable for further comment.

written by Lon Smith, 19 February 2004
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Sim City Players Addicted to Scrolling Headlines

People just can't get enough of news just rolling around, Mr. Mayor.

written by Charlie Van Horn, 10 June 2004
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Red meat eaters less annoying, study shows

According to a new study, eating red meat is less likey to turn you into a whining hippie FREAK than a diet of tofu. The study also shows that red meat tastes better, too.

written by Dan Bristol, 10 June 2004
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Bulldog Pisses Euro Poll

Having purchased the right to vote, Barney the Bulldog from Barnsley's is UK's latest EU Minister.

written by Seriously, 10 June 2004
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UKIP to outlaw lettuce

UKIP have announced plans to lobby the EU to outlaw lettuce as part of their plan to make the EU look ridiculous.

written by gareth davies, 14 June 2004
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Spoof administrators censor free speech

go figure

written by gareth davies, 19 June 2004
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Ronald Reagan Dies

To be packed in ice, sent to Abu Ghraib

written by joespr, 08 June 2004
« 2003 2004 2005 »
January
5
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February
9
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March
10
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April
4
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May
17
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June
27
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July
21
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August
13
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September
5
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October
9
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November
4
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December
0
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