There are 88,493 spoof news snippets published at The Spoof. A selection of the most popular snippets from The Spoof is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to browse through the rest of the breaking news snippet archives.

You can also check out the latest breaking news snippets.

Order by:
Rating:

Sarah Palin Speaks Out!

Puts bumper sticker on her Suburban reading "My daughter is faster than your honor student." She probably didn't think that through too well.

written by Daniel Williams, 13 February 2009
Rating:

Madonna Tells Press Alex Rodriguez has 12" Penis

"See, they don't call him A Rod for nothing." Madonna tells reporters, "Though his balls are tiny and he has a hairy back."

written by Daniel Williams, 17 February 2009
Rating:

Madonna Tests Positive For Steroids

The pop star reportedly blamed it on Alex Rodriguez's "secret sauce"

written by Daniel Williams, 21 February 2009
Rating:

Michael Jackson Dead

NAMBLA observes moment of silence

written by Daniel Williams, 25 June 2009
Rating:

Michael Jackson Dies of Heart Attack

In other news, NAMBLA is searching for a new spokesman

written by Daniel Williams, 25 June 2009
Rating:

Jackson's Death Rocks Business World

Lojack© Corporation says it will discontinue its Lojack For Kids© program

written by Daniel Williams, 26 June 2009
Rating:

Jackson's Death: Oh Ye of Little Faith

Estimates show that as many as 23% of atheists now report a belief in a higher power

written by Daniel Williams, 26 June 2009
Rating:

King of Pop Dead

Children all over Iran heard to be chanting "Allah Akbar"

written by Daniel Williams, 25 June 2009
Rating:

Authorities Discover Incomplete, "Disturbing" Jackson Family Photobook

Police decline to comment on the pictures of Jackson with his children, except to say that the working title was "Hop on Pop"

written by Daniel Williams, 26 June 2009
Rating:

Michael Jackson Busted!

Pays ultimate price in a cosmic episode of "To Catch a Predator"

written by Daniel Williams, 26 June 2009
Rating:

Michael Jackson's Death Leaves Aftershocks

CEO of Fox Broadcasting Company announces they will be canceling their newest reality program, "Touched by a Jackson"

written by Daniel Williams, 26 June 2009
Rating:

Psychologists Say Jackson Misunderstood Golden Rule

Jesus did not mean that he should do to little boys what he would like them to do to him.

written by Daniel Williams, 27 June 2009
Rating:

Sarah Palin's Consignment Shop Changes Name

Out of the Closet owner Ellen Arvold changes store name to Second Run, "We needed to change our name to protect our identity- we are in the business of selling vintage clothing-not snake oil."

written by Daniel Williams, 01 April 2009
Rating:

Grim Reaper Tries To Make Ammends

His press secretary says to make up for the death of Farrah Fawcett, he decided to take out two scourges on society:Michael Jackson, and Billy Mays.

written by Daniel Williams, 28 June 2009
Rating:

Michael Jackson Autopsy Shockers

Officials say they literally found the little boy in Jackson. Not sure how he got there, doctors estimate the young child asphyxiated inside the pop star at some point in the 80's

written by Daniel Williams, 03 July 2009
Rating:

Governor Sarah Palin Resigns

In response to her functional illiteracy becoming public knowledge, Palin steps down. Governor's press secretary disputes this, saying she is resigning "cause Jesus told her to"

written by Daniel Williams, 03 July 2009
Rating:

Michael Jackson Rocks Google!

The site reports that since his death, web searches for "dead pedophile" have gone up over 130,000%.

written by Daniel Williams, 05 July 2009
Rating:

Glenn Beck shocker

Tells the world he has a "deep seated hatred" of intelligent people.

written by Daniel Williams, 30 July 2009
Rating:

Fox News is Number 1!

Among people with extreme mental deficiencies.

written by Daniel Williams, 20 August 2009
Rating:

Gay Comic Dedicates Award To Celebrity Evil Slapper

Bespectacled, camp, comedian that I have never heard of, dedicated his 'comedy award',to Karen Matthews. Some people have predictably over-reacted and complained. Others don't give a shit.

written by Phil Edgar's Bones, 08 December 2008
Rating:

Top 'Tart' gets fined!

A prostitute who works exclusively with lawyers, judges and policemen, has been found guilty of taking the law into her own hands...and mouth.

written by Phil Edgar's Bones, 07 December 2008
Rating:

Dead Comedian Arthur Askey Dedicates His Award To Lucifer

Bespectacled, dead, short, comedian Arthur Askey, stunned crowds by dedicating his comedy award to the Devil. The prime minister said he was both 'disgusted' and 'horny' at Askey's antics.

written by Phil Edgar's Bones, 08 December 2008
Rating:

Rudolph Hess Dedicates Comedy Award to Hitler

Inept Nazi Rudolph Hess, shocked crowds at the comedy awards, by dedicated his 'gong' to Adolph Hitler. A spokesman for the ceremony said Hess's comments were 'inappropriate'.

written by Phil Edgar's Bones, 08 December 2008
Rating:

Karen Matthews Dedicates Comedy Award to Alan Carr

Rubbish mother and media demon, Karen Matthews dedicated her 'comedy mum of the year' award to Alan Carr. The audience were both 'shocked' and 'disgusted' at her dedication choice.

written by Phil Edgar's Bones, 08 December 2008
Rating:

Should UK troops leave Iraq?

This is the dilemma facing Gordon Brown. Half of Brits say yes and half are simply too thick to know. Whereas all Iraqis say YES, and the sooner the better, and please take the Yanks with you.

written by Rusty, 18 December 2008
Rating:

Wayne Rooney look-alike

Asterisk Corset, accused of murdering a trainee accountant co-worker who taunted him about his likeness to Wayne Rooney, has been found not guilty by reason of justifiable homicide.

written by Rusty, 16 December 2008
Rating:

Bernie Madoff Bailed

Disgraced hedge fund manager Bernard Madoff, accused of a $50 billion fraud, was today released on $10 million bail which he paid to the NY court from his petty cash box.

written by Rusty, 18 December 2008
Rating:

John Wayne Gacy Tops The 'Baddest Clown Ever' List!

Captain Spaulding, Donald McRonald and Pennywise are fuming after Gacy topped the most evil clown list. McRonald said "My milk-shakes alone have killed millions more people than Gacy"

written by Phil Edgar's Bones, 09 December 2008
Rating:

Santa recuperating after triple bypass

Ignoring repeated warnings to watch his diet, the jolly old elf loaded up on milk and cookies once again and suffered a massive coronary near the end of his deliveries. He's in stable condition.

written by The San Francisco Onion, 27 December 2008
Rating:

Santa Strikes Back!

A man dressed as Santa Claus randomly opened fire from a sleigh at a Christmas party gathering near Los Angeles after he delivered gifts and found no mince pie or glass of sherry waiting for him.

written by Rusty, 27 December 2008
Rating:

Peter Falk To Return As 'Columbo'

Veteran crumpled actor is to return for a final series. Each week, the cop will try to resolve the mystery of the talent-free rich and famous. Jade, Posh and Paris star in first episode.

written by Phil Edgar's Bones, 09 December 2008
Rating:

Flynt, Francis request injection of federal money

With the American economy gone limp, sex drive in the United States has also decreased. Larry Flynt and Joe Francis have requested $5 billion to supplement flaccid DVD sales.

written by The San Francisco Onion, 08 January 2009
Rating:

Bondage Kangaroo Gives Evidence Against Rolf Harris

Stylophone-playing Rolf Harris was in court yesterday. The Kangaroo he tied down, in his flat, circa 1963 gave evidence. Rod claims he was too 'AUSTRALIAN' & 'BEARDED' to harm the beast!

written by Phil Edgar's Bones, 09 December 2008
Rating:

Deng Xiaoping surprise

Chinese leader Deng Xiaoping, who hadn't said much during Politburo sessions since the late 1990's, was today discovered to actually be dead.

written by Rusty, 18 December 2008
Rating:

Jonathan Ross Will Be Made To Work For His Wages !

BBC Bosses claim Jonathan Ross, will NOW work for every penny you pay the BBC. He will be performing manual labour for every TV licence holder e.g cleaning windows, unblocking toilets...

written by Phil Edgar's Bones, 08 December 2008
Rating:

Boomerang Finally Comes Back to Charlie Drake

Dead dwarf-man Charlie Drake, can finally rest in peace. His boomerang has finally returned after a 45 year absence. The boomerang said he intended to come back, but in his own time.

written by Phil Edgar's Bones, 09 December 2008
Rating:

Nut Allergy Outbreak

NHS doctors are investigating why group of trainee psychologists were systematically stricken with anaphylaxis while visiting a Smegmadale Mental Institution yesterday.

written by Rusty, 16 December 2008
Rating:

Bishop rebukes Capitalism

The Bishop of Manchester has attacked the UK government for scandalously encouraging people to go into debt but praised the collapse of the God of Consumerism as people chopped up their credit cards.

written by Rusty, 27 December 2008
Rating:

Bailiff's Xmas Bonus

While the UK may be mired in the shallows of a deepening recession and the credit crunch tightens the spending belt, court bailiffs say they're having their busiest Christmas run-up on record.

written by Rusty, 14 December 2008
Rating:

Ringo Starr Lifts Fan-mail Ban, Hooray!

Cuddly, Beatle- Ringo Starr, has lifted his fan-mail ban. He put his October out-burst down to uncomfortable dentures and the removal of 'Last of The Summer Wine' from its regular slot!

written by Phil Edgar's Bones, 09 December 2008
Rating:

Prima Donna

At last night's World's Ugliest Slut competition finals in Las Vegas first prize was awarded to Donatella Versace, taking the title from Cherie Blair, for having a mouth like a burst radial tyre.

written by Rusty, 16 December 2008
Rating:

The Spammoth Cometh

Scientists at Hormel's Dead Animal research lab's have genetically-engineered a mammoth hybrid cross between a pig and an elephant whose processed flesh is a perfect match for luncheon meat.

written by Rusty, 16 December 2008
Rating:

Parking Fine paid on bog paper

A man who wrote out a cheque on crap wrap to pay his parking fine was told by magistrates they were not amused and ordered to stand in the corner until the court recessed.

written by Rusty, 18 December 2008
Rating:

Burglars get Barrister Info' Bonus.

Thieves who stole computer hard drives with barristers and prosecution witness details from the Bar Council's offices have reaped a Christmas crime bonanza by auctioning the info' package on E-Bay.

written by Rusty, 18 December 2008
Rating:

Tibet dissidents give China aggro'

Chinese police in Tibet have arrested hundreds at Lhasa markets for selling CD and MP3 format copies of anti-Chinese reactionary songs downloaded from the internet such as "China Sucks Big-Time"

written by Rusty, 27 December 2008
Rating:

Postmen cancel strike

UK postal workers were forced to call off a one-day strike after their Union ballot results failed to get delivered to Post Office management within the time limit.

written by Rusty, 19 December 2008
Rating:

Anarchists Snuff Ikea

UK police last night arrested Turbo Tatswiller leader of the Popular Front for the Abolition of Flatpack Furniture terrorist movement which recently bombed and burned Ikea's Warrington-based factory.

written by Rusty, 16 December 2008
Rating:

Crapper Rapper in Bat Offence Charge

UK Rapper Dizzee Rascal (aka Dildo Mills)is under investigation by police and the RSPCA for offences involving a bat. It is rumoured the charges are of an animal cruelty or sexual offence nature.

written by Rusty, 14 December 2008
Rating:

Fight the Good Fight

To mark the Season of Goodwill and the fallacy of Peace on Earth, God and Satan have agreed to a bare knuckle cage fight to finally settle their differences. Gouging and biting are allowed.

written by Rusty, 15 December 2008
Rating:

Joe Wilson "Obama IS dithering, I looked it up!"

"dithering heights has always been one of my favorite books, too."

written by Daniel Williams, 07 November 2009
Rating:

AsboMan gets one Himself

Nottingham's chief anti-social behaviour officer Richard Antbrain has been arrested, charged and bailed after being involved in an incident of "violent disorder".

written by Rusty, 18 December 2008
Rating:

Spoof writers expected to make up for lack of Obama scandals

With integrity finally arriving in the White House for first time in 28 years, boneheads expected to publish sufficient articles concerning imaginary wrongdoing to compensate.

written by The San Francisco Onion, 27 December 2008
Rating:

Rawanda genocide chief jailed

Rawandan genocide culprit Theo Bagoshit was convicted of instigating the 1994 Tutsi genocide which killed billions and sentenced to 200 hours of community service in a 419 call centre.

written by Rusty, 19 December 2008
Rating:

UK consumer withdrawal symptoms

Emergency services are reporting mass cases of people wandering aimlessly in confused traumatised states going into analyptic shock after Tesco, Argos and Poundland shut down for the Xmas holiday.

written by Rusty, 26 December 2008
Rating:

New Hamas rockets strike Israel

New rocket fire by Hamas' Gaza Gangsters was reported today striking Israeli teritory. All the new rockets were severely damaged when they crashed into buildings and exploded

written by Rusty, 19 December 2008
Rating:

Tricky Dick's Nemesis Dies

Watergate Deep Throat super-grass, ex-FBI snitch Max Felt, was pronounced DOA yesterday at a California hospital after choking on something nasty.

written by Rusty, 19 December 2008
Rating:

X-Factor Files

Celebrity conspiracy theory double-act Mulder n Scully last night won first place in the X-Factor finals.

written by Rusty, 15 December 2008
Rating:

Ertha Katt passes away.

Feline American singer, dancer and actress Eartha Kitt who played Catwoman in the 1960's Batman series has died at the age of 81, after telling the press she had adored every minute of her nine lives.

written by Rusty, 26 December 2008
Rating:

Queen Liz roughs it for Xmas speech

The Queen is spending Xmas at a squat in Liverpool's dilapidated Kensington district as a gesture of goodwill and to display her ability to rough it with the rest of the recession-hit British public.

written by Rusty, 26 December 2008
Rating:

Euro worth more than Pound shock

UK tourists aghast that the Pound in recession is now worth less than the Euro and on a par with the Zimbabwe dollar, with a Warburton's toasty loaf now costing £40

written by Rusty, 15 December 2008
Rating:

Scottish National Party spaced out?

The SNP is calling for a Moray airbase to become Scotland's spaceport to launch kilt-clad Jockonaut astro-tourists into orbit in their new haggis-powered Caledonian-McBrain Tartan Lines space bus.

written by Rusty, 26 December 2008
Rating:

CORRECTION: Ann Coulter

Typographical error: Published article stating Ann Coulter is a "bitch" was supposed to read she is "butch." We sincerely regret the error.

written by The San Francisco Onion, 27 December 2008
Rating:

Ministry of the Bloody Obvious strikes again

The death of a Royal Marine killed by enemy fire in Afghanistan was lamented by the Defence Ministry, who then shrugged their shoulders and stated shit happens if you spend Xmas in an active war zone.

written by Rusty, 27 December 2008
Rating:

Tony B-liar evicted

Ex- PM Tony Bliar was today evicted from his London home due mortgage arrears. His projected high earnings from bringing peace to the Middle East have failed to materialise, as per the promised peace.

written by Rusty, 19 December 2008
Rating:

Writing on Wall for M & S

Finance gurus claim they saw the writing on the wall for Marks & Spencer belt-tightening the day when they started charging 5 pence for a previously free carrier bag to carry their overpriced tat.

written by Rusty, 08 January 2009
Rating:

BNP Leader Sends Yuletide Greeting To His Members

BNP leader Nick Griffin has thanked people for staying in his party, after the membership list was leaked on-line. He wished them all a white Christmas and an even whiter country.

written by Phil Edgar's Bones, 09 December 2008
Rating:

Spoof's Obama Birth Certificate Competition

Don't need a spoof news story : a snippet will do. He doesn't exist. He's a figment of the US voting population's imaginations and mindsets. An illusion. A very bad rascist / sectarian joke

written by Rusty, 23 December 2008
Rating:

Hannah Montana Survey Shocker!

A recent advert for something or other, on several internet websites, insist on asking this question "Do you like Hannah Montana?" - "No!", has been the general consensus.

written by Phil Edgar's Bones, 09 December 2008
Rating:

Chinese navy pirated

Two Chinese naval destroyers and an aircraft carrier that recently arrived off Somalia to protect Chinese vessels passing through the Gulf of Aden were last night reportedly hijacked by pirates.

written by Rusty, 26 December 2008
Rating:

Boots 2008 Innovations

Boots Pharmacy have announced the ideal 2009 New Year gift for the girl who has everything. A course of their innovative super-strength antibiotic: ClapGone!

written by Rusty, 26 December 2008
Rating:

Jerry Mouse Finally Killed By Thomas Cat Shocker!

Jerry the mouse, has finally, been killed by Tom. Tom said "After 70 years of chasing, I realised I was a crap mouser. I simply put down some poison, he ate it and died. I'm not sad he was a shit"

written by Phil Edgar's Bones, 09 December 2008
Rating:

Santa Claus Has Become A Jehovahs Witness Shock!

Santa, has become a witness of Jehovah, and decided he doesn't believe in himself. This Xmas, kids should also expect, no blood transfusions and copies of the WatchTower and Awake in their stockings.

written by Phil Edgar's Bones, 09 December 2008
Rating:

UK Knife Crime?

Concerns are mounting in Britain that simply 'Looking Daggers' at Someone can be considered a knife crime and is punishable by five years in prison.

written by IN SEINE, 29 May 2008
Rating:

Jimmy Carr Is An Escaped Ventriloquist Dummy Shock!

Weird comic, Jimmy Carr is really a run away ventriloquist's dummy.

"His hair is actually painted on and so are his eyes" said Mr Geppetto. Ironically, Carr is known for being wooden!

written by Phil Edgar's Bones, 09 December 2008
Rating:

Middle East 'Fun' places to visit

Israel has topped the Middle East's poll for 'Fun' places to visit. Radio Beruit announced the poll results yesterday, declaring Israel to be 'as much fun as chemotherapy'.

written by Rusty, 26 December 2008
Rating:

Pope Benny calls for Peace

Pope Benny Mk16 aka Joseph Ratflinger, made his Urbi et Orbi speech to the world calling for an end to global strife and conflicts, most of which throughout history were caused by the Catholic church.

written by Rusty, 27 December 2008
Rating:

Mrs. Darwin's Cookbook

A Victorian era cookbook belonging to Evolutionist Charles Darwin's wife is to be published with more than 40 dishes such as braised cormorant, spiced frog in port, hedgehog pate and fillet of badger.

written by Rusty, 27 December 2008
Rating:

Credit card use hits Xmas high

Credit card company Visa Europe said they hit a peak in transactions at noon today when the company recorded 700 payments a second. Visa are praying New Year repayments might reach 700 per month.

written by Rusty, 21 December 2008
Rating:

Wii music particpation makes you look like a tosser!

Anyone over ten years old, without a learning difficulty, will look like a tosser and wanker; if they use Wii music. "It's not a scientific fact just an observation" say researchers.

written by Phil Edgar's Bones, 09 December 2008
Rating:

Dieters should buy jeans twice the size of their whole body say psychologists!

Depressed dieters should buy jeans twice the size of their whole bodies. Then they should stand in one of the legs, to give the impression, they used to be that fat, say psychologists!

written by Phil Edgar's Bones, 10 December 2008
Rating:

UK Criminal Deportations Target Met

50,000 convicted foreign criminals were deported in 2008 Immigration Minister Nikolai Mobsaroubles told the BBC's Radio Scally Watch at Dover as 75,000 more arrived on the cross-Channel ferry.

written by Rusty, 26 December 2008
Rating:

Sudanese woman wins award

London-based nutrition guru Winnie O'Dinga has won the Slimmer's World annual award for the most successful weight reduction plan with her "Lose 10 Stones in a Month Darfur Diet" programme.

written by Rusty, 20 December 2008
Rating:

Fifty Firefighters Tackle Blaze

Firefighters tackling a huge blaze at a pizza manufacturing company in the Dildo area of Smegmadale shortly before dawn told reporters it was the hottest fast food take-away they'd eaten this year.

written by Rusty, 14 December 2008
Rating:

Edit the Credit

IMF chief Dominique Strauss-Klunt has told the BBC that people need to spend more to solve the current global recession, but stated he was still working on how they could do this if they were broke.

written by Rusty, 21 December 2008
Rating:

Shop n Sup

Leicester's Melton High Street retail association yesterday offered a free pint of beer to anyone shopping in the town, resulting in drunken bargain squabbles in Woolworths and Poundland.

written by Rusty, 21 December 2008
Rating:

Miss Who

BBC plans for their new Dr. Who to be a female suffered a setback yesterday when it was discovered that number one choice Jade Goody has a snatch that's actually bigger than the inside of the Tardis.

written by Rusty, 09 January 2009
Rating:

Opal Fruits Do Not Make Your Mouth Water Say Dogs!

According to Dogs at the University Of Stan Butler, Utah. What really makes their mouth water is a bell, rung by someone called Pavlov. The chewy retro sweets had no effect on 300 dogs in the study.

written by Phil Edgar's Bones, 10 December 2008
Rating:

UK interest rates drop

The Bank of England has dropped interest rates to minus 1.25%, thus paying borrowers to take out loans by giving them interest on their debt in a last ditch effort to kick-start a dead horse economy.

written by Rusty, 19 December 2008
Rating:

Bea Arthur died of swine flu?

After learning more about the disease, Bea Arthur's family admits fib about cancer. Said they were afraid people would assume she had been intimate with a pig.

written by The San Francisco Onion, 28 April 2009
Rating:

Nicholas Nickleby role models

UK teachers will have to act as "role models" both in and out of school under a proposed code of conduct says Childrens' Secretary Ed Ballsup. The intended role model is Dicken's Wackford Squeers.

written by Rusty, 21 December 2008
Rating:

Poor get poorer

The Labour government are planning to charge 27% interest on all state loans to the UK's poorest families in crisis situations in order to ensure a continuation of their poverty / breadline status.

written by Rusty, 21 December 2008
Rating:

Mandy knocks back Jag' bail out

A Jaguar-Land Rover bail out by the government has been nixed by Peter Mandelson, who told the firm's new owner, India's Tatty group, to get their hands in their own pockets and not come begging.

written by Rusty, 21 December 2008
Rating:

Two Jags warned by Doctors

Porcine Labour MP for Kingston-on Pies, John 'Two Shags' Prescott, who was recently told by doctors to lose four stones of belly fat or die, today lost four stones.

written by Rusty, 08 January 2009
Rating:

Lusitania sinking okayed

Kraut military historian Wolfgang von Schnit has declared the WW1 German naval action of torpedoing and sinking the Lusitania was justified as divers had recovered rifle ammunition from the wreck.

written by Rusty, 21 December 2008
Rating:

UK Christmas shut-downs

More small UK firms are planning to take an extended Christmas break to stave off the negative economic effects of the deepening recession and plan to reopen for business sometime after Easter 2009

written by Rusty, 21 December 2008
Rating:

Puss in Boots?

Celebrity fashion designer Jimmy Choo-Choo comes under fire from feminists for his new line of men's footwear made from the vulvas of female African sloths: They fit like a glove and never wear out.

written by Rusty, 09 January 2009
Rating:

Matricide over fish digits

A 14-year old Smegmadale schoolboy beat his mother to death with a frying pan last night after she served him fish fingers. He told police "That's all she's fed me for effin' tea since I woz six."

written by Rusty, 18 December 2008
Rating:

Sticky Position

An 80-year old woman who got bogged in mud overnight while walking her dogs along a Smegmadale river is now safe in hospital. Neighbours told the media she was always a bit of a stick in the mud.

written by Rusty, 21 December 2008
Rating:

Sarah Palin, Carrie Prejean sign movie deal

Will remake "Where the Heart Is." Prejean plays Novalee Nation, 17, abandoned by boyfriend. She moves into a Wall Mart, gives birth there, becomes media darling, is taken in by Sister Husband (Palin).

written by The San Francisco Onion, 15 May 2009
Rating:

Slumdog Monopoly

The classic boardgame gets a modern twist. New "Chance" card reads, "Congratulations! You've just won 8 Oscars!" at which point you lose; communities are leveled and all properties returned to bank.

written by The San Francisco Onion, 15 May 2009
All Years
2014
6,302
snippets
2013
8,784
snippets
2012
6,987
snippets
2011
9,343
snippets
2010
32,313
snippets
2009
19,575
snippets
2008
3,765
snippets
2007
1,146
snippets
2006
34
snippets
2005
88
snippets
2004
124
snippets
2003
32
snippets

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 2 plus 5?

9 18 7 15


Go to top