Written by Gary Potter
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Thursday, 21 April 2011

image for One dimensional universe - I kid you not!
Loon claims explosions cause one dimension before turning into a universe. No, really.

Fans of stupid theories are today celebrating following the announcement of the latest fanciful notion.

According to Devan Stokovioj from the University of Buffalos, the universe 'exploded from a single point and was very, very small at first -- was one-dimensional (like a straight line) before expanding to include two dimensions (like a plane) and then three (like the world in which we live today).'

A real scientist had this to say, "Is this for real? The big bang theory is stupid enough without making the additional claim that it evolved through dimensions as it expanded. Instead of pipe dreaming, perhaps our inventive Mr Stokovioj could concentrate his efforts on explaining how and why this could even happen in the first place! We have yet to see a universe form since the last one, supposedly 15 billion years ago!! Yet now we are expected the swallow the idea that it exploded into a straight line?! And this is science??" With this he broke down in tears left the room.

(Reporters note: The comment from fictional 'Devan Stokovioj' is a genuine quote from a 'science journal'. It can be easily found by looking at science news pages. It is copied verbatim for educational and review purposes only. With this in mind, I don't feel I can take full credit for this spoof, as the original source material is too good to start with, GP)

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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