Written by IainB
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Thursday, 7 April 2011

image for Internet Explorer 9 has a Porn Filter
Not that kind of pawn!

Microsoft have admitted that the latest version of their browser blocks all pornographic material by default.

"One of the biggest complaints we receive," said IE9 designer, Oprah Safari, "is the accidental viewing of porn."

According to research, most porn viewed on laptops is purely by accident. When questioned about why there is porn on show, the unfortunate viewer always claims that they'd been searching for something innocuous, and got porn by mistake. Watching porn on the internet was the number one cause of divorce in Uganda in 2007, with all seven divorces citing this as a reason. In order to ensure that this never happens to people again, Microsoft have stepped in with a Big Brother Sledgehammer approach.

"We know that a lot of people enjoy looking at porn on the internet," said Safari. "That's why we introduced the In Private Browsing facility. However, even more people prefer to use the web for less lewd reasons. In order to view porn now, the Porn Block has to be removed specifically by users. They must submit a request to Microsoft proving that they are over twenty-one, are not married, and own a genuine copy of windows."

Not everybody is pleased by Microsoft's new move. "This is a travesty," said avid porn watcher, David Cameron of Minnesota (so not the Prime Minister of the UK, then). "Making us prove we have a genuine copy of Windows? That's so unfair!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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