Written by Charpa93
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Friday, 1 April 2011

image for Magnetic Pole Shift Causes Massive Pile Up of Birds at Equator

The saying "Birds of a Feather Flock Together" rang true today when residents living at or near the equator around the world noticed an over abundance of birds in their yards and fields.

Eduardo Morales, who lives just five miles from the Equator says that he's never seen so many birds in his entire life in one spot.

"Last week, we had the regular birds singing in the trees. This week, we have thousands more birds in the trees, but they are not singing. They occasionally squawk, especially the parrots, but for the most part, the birds are eerily quiet."

Morales claims it's the creepiest thing he's ever seen.

Ornithologists from the University of Georgia, School of Bird Studies, have flown to various locations around the globe to study the phenomenon.

Dr. Bradley Sorofsky arrived in the small town of San Marcos Morelia, two miles north of the Equatorial line in Equador. "I was simply astonished at the number of birds in this area. There had to have been at least 10,000 or so birds for every square meter of forest," he said.

Sorofsky says he is now certain he knows why the swallows did not return to San Juan Capistrano off the coast of California this year. "I'd say a good portion of the swallows have made their way to this tiny little town."

Computer models of the birds' flight patterns have been fed into a computer and the results are startling. Dr. Sven Svenjorgenstern, one of the ornithologists from the Bern Institute of Ornithologic Behavior in Bern, Switzerland says that it is highly possible that recent solar storms have seriously affected the magnetic poles so much so that they have shifted to the point where true north just does not exist at the moment.

"The birds of the world are extremely confused, especially at this time of year when they are trying to fly back home to their nesting grounds based solely on instinct. The shifting of the magnetic pull from north to slightly north easterly, seems to be having a dramatic effect on the birds' ability to chart a course on their own as they've done since the beginning of time," said Svenjorgenstern. "We do not know how long this effect will last," he added.

In the meantime, farmers and landowners in the affected areas are being told not to panic. "Sure, the larger birds, such as condors and eagles can be a threat to family pets, so keep your pets and small farm animals safely indoors," cautioned Hillary Swiftern, of the International Health Organization. "In addition, do not try and shoot at the birds. Contrary to what we have been taught, if birds are pushed to the limit as they are now, i.e vying for living space in very close quarters, they will easily turn on anyone who tries to get near them," she said. "Even the docile wren and little yellow canary can turn into raging carnivores under the right circumstances," she added.

Meanwhile, Fundamentalist Christians around the world, but more specifically in Lynchburg, Virginia are using this latest environmental phenomenon to once again remind everyone, "We're in the end times. Get those guns cocked and loaded. It is your right to bear arms."

Make Charpa93's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 3 multiplied by 1?

7 1 8 3

Go to top