Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loonies have today launched their own phone app, SuBoStalker 1.0.
The app, available for a variety of trendy over-priced phones, can find SuBo within a 5 mile radius.
"It runs in the background sniffing out Susan. As soon as the phone gets a location on her it starts playing 'I Dreamed A Dream' and shows her location on a map, represented by a red scarf!" boasted the chief technical engineer for developer ScarfSoft. "The fanatic/stalker can then run after her screaming 'I love you Susan, tell me you love me too!' while trying to force yet another quilt onto her!" he continued to boast while squeezing his zits.
The app will automatically alert other fanatics as to her whereabouts. "All our fanatics running the app will be alerted when Susan is found. They can then use their wealthy husband's credit card to immediately book a flight to take them to the location. They can then have an impromptu 'meet & greet' and bully Susan's team to have her turn up to it!" cackled a chief fanatic.
The app, available from the fanatic's Tacky Gift Shop for only $5000, can also print out an emergency 'flat Susan'. "You never know when you might need a life-size cardboard version of Susan! Our new app will print one out at the touch of a button! Never be without a cardboard cut-out of Susan again!" rambled a chief fanatic.
"We've already started work on version 2.0 of the app. That one will automatically create yet another 'tribute video' based on her current location, and upload it to the fanatic's favourite website!" boasted the engineer.