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Topics: Scientists, Building

Wednesday, 7 September 2005

image for Superdome Offers Rare Glimpse of Early Human Social Behavior
Refugees claiming their own little piece of real estate

New Orleans, Louisiana -- The Superdome is offering Paleontologists a rare glimpse at what life was like for early hominids such as Neanderthal. As more and more refugees flock to the building scientists are becoming more and more excited about the amazing social behavior being duly noted in their research notes.

"Paleo-Sociological behavior of Neanderthal is being compared with current Superdome behavioral conditions and the resemblances are indeed striking." says Paleontologist Rupert Gill. "What we are seeing in the Superdome - whether it be the dog eat dog mentality or whether it be the barbaric conditions of the bathrooms there - is reminiscent of Neanderthal and Cro-Magnon Man."

The Superdome has become virtually unfit for human use as refugee after refugee has been assimilated into the structure and randomly turned into either mindless vermin or Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers (commonly referred to as C.H.U.D.).

Comparisons between the activities of ancestral man and the current activities of the Superdome dwellers is turning heads in the scientific community. Research teams have been dispatched to the immediate vicinity of the Superdome in order to film the refugees in their natural habitat.

Mitch Goldberg, head of the paleontology division at Washington College, noted that the tribes of early man often would place their dead just outside their cave dwelling--quite similar to what is happening at the Superdome. The caves dwellings of early man also were considered to be incredibly unkempt and the inhabitants often would exist among "mounds of debris and refuse". Prime sleeping areas of each cave were guarded fiercely and oftentimes fights would break out over hot commodities such as large leaves and cockroaches. Toilet paper and cockroaches are reportedly being used as bartering instruments within the Superdome. Cots in the structure are reportedly the number one item people in the Superdome are presently beating the tar out of each other over.

"As you can see, the behavior is nearly identical to widely accepted behavior of ancestral man." said Goldberg. "We are very excited to be seeing what amounts to being the behavior of long dead humans -- with the people of New Orleans being unwitting participants!! "

The Superdome is presently home to over 800,000 refugees.

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