Written by Gail Farrelly
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Friday, 18 February 2011

image for IBM Computer Watson Turns into a Bully after "Jeopardy" Win
Virus, thy name is Watson!

Watson may be a genius, but even geniuses don't always know how to behave.

Reports are that Watson, after besting two champions on the game show "Jeopardy," turned out to be an obnoxious bully at the celebratory party after the match.

Not only did he knock several folks over to be the first one at the buffet table ("he just has to be first in everything," one onlooker commented). In addition, he constantly reminded all attendees that HE was the guest of honor. He was wearing an "I'm a winner" badge and was a complete showoff during the entire party. If that weren't bad enough, he even tried -- thankfully without success -- to get each of the defeated champs to wear an "I'm a loser" badge. When they refused to do so, Watson just referred to them as Dopey 1 and Dopey 2.

IBM scientists were quite embarrassed, admitting that they had successfully programmed Watson with knowledge and the ability to constantly increase his knowledge, but had forgotten the "good behavior" part of the programming. "We blew it," said one dejected scientist, who quoted Albert Einstein: "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity." Uh, you think?

C.P. Snow once said, "Technology...is a queer thing. It brings you great gifts with one hand, and it stabs you in the back with the other."

Ain't that the truth!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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