Written by Inhopeless
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Thursday, 30 December 2010

PALO ALTO, CA - Steve Jobs announced that the new iDevice will be on sale for those who truly follow Apple, Inc..

"This device," he said, holding up nothing. "Is only visible, and purchasable for those who believe." Nearly all of the people in the conference, bar some bored technology journalists (and me), said they believed.

The new iPad will come with five hundred million terrabytes of hard disc space, a 22-inch (56cm) screen, and can fold to a 7-inch (18cm) screen. It also has an eternal internet connection that can transfer data at 1000Mbps (Roughly .04 seconds for one song). It also can take pictures with the front and rear cameras.

I still can't see it.

The iPad 2 went on sale for US$1000/CN$900 in North America and €700/£800 in Europe and UK.

Already there have been over 200 units sold this very millisecond.

I went into a local branch of technology superstore PC World.

"This device is amazing!" said one of the people trying it. "Look at all the motion and the amazingness!" He was attempting to tap empty air.

I still can't see it.

I then met the first person to buy an iPad at this store.

"Daddy's insane," said his daughter. "He's spent all day trying to talk to his hand."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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