Written by Jaggedone
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Topics: Health, Cats, Old People

Sunday, 7 November 2010

image for Bio-Scientists say no to viagra and recommend buying young pussies instead and for ageing women, holidays in Kenya?
The younger the better, but go Asian if longevity is required!

Bio-Scientists have gathered in Oslo (very Nobel) hoping to find a "natural" way of helping the growing ageing community to ensure their sex lives remain active and reduce the amount of chemical intake.

According to the research, aging men should dump viagra and turn to hom(e)opathetical (not in a gay way) remedies and surround themselves with young "pussies"!

Recommended pussies are Ginger and Tiger, especially recommended are the Asian versions, Burmese, Siamese, etc. They give much more pleasure and age better compared to their European counterparts who tend to laze around all day sniffing their bottoms and become disinterested in any form of stroking or physical activity as the years roll by.

Ageing women who have husbands who need young pussies should be sent off to Kenya at least four times a year, leaving their hubbies to "feed the pussies".

It's a well known fact that ageing women require long, stiff, hard, black licorice sticks to pep up their energy levels (it's the sugar cane) and should suck on them for hours.

Kenya is a main producer of huge licorice sticks and they can be acquired in any beach resort, market or pubs and the young men selling them are openly willing to satisfy ageing womens requirements by giving them a test suck anywhere.

Bio-scientists are recommending these treatments to be made available on the NHS (Americans don't have the NHS so they will remain dependent on chemicals or hard plastic solutions, vibrating) and hope that the immense problem of the ageing global population will at least approach death feeling "stiff" until they become "stiff"!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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