Written by Mike Gatspy
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Thursday, 4 November 2010

image for Controversy over implant to help blind people see
Eye say, eye say, eye say...

The electronic implant which has helped blind people to see is seen by most people as a marvellous leap forward, or at least thought to be a marvellous leap forward by some who haven't had it yet, but a group of religious fanatics is threatening to disrupt trials of the implant in the UK.

"If God had wanted these sinners to see, he wouldn't have blinded them" said spokesman G. Zusfreak. "We are fed up with these evil scientists trying to do God's work. We may be forced to kill them...God is telling us to take action" he continued, referring to the voice in his head.

One person who is happy with the trials, probably because he thinks he IS God, is FIFA president Sepp Blatter. He sees it as justification for holding out against goal line technology to aid referees.

"Think about it." he said triumphantly, "Our referees can be fitted with this implant, and voila! problem solved. No more blind referees, and the game won't have to be held up for 2 seconds while the correct decision is made using intrusive cameras."

Blatter doesn't hear voices in his head, but does listen to prayers carefully before disregarding them.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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