Written by rob32
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Topics: Internet, Newcastle

Friday, 27 May 2005

image for Net Cures Damp
Not a day over 83?

Could the Internet be an answer to the problems of damp? If Mrs Swanson a pole dancer from Newcastle is to be believed then perhaps it is. At the ripe old age of 85 yet with looks that don't put her a day over 83 Mrs Swanson is convinced that the Internet is the fountain of youth.

The 83 year old is the founder and regular contributor to www.granniesoncam.com a website for youthful looking older women. She's come a long way from humble beginnings of a damp high-rise council flat and now lives in a dry council flat above a pawnbrokers. If it weren't for the Internet I'd be damp and have more wrinkles said Mrs Swanson. Thanks to her 35 second pole-dancing routine on www.granniesoncam.com the money keeps rolling in. Literally 10's of men and women from all over the world log on to her subscription based service every year.

So far Mrs Swanson has taken £132.57 in takings since the service started back in 2001. This has enabled her to pay off her rent areas and move on to dryer more suitable property with an inside toilet. I don't know what I would do without it she said. And what of the future? "Well I would do more dancing but since my plastic hip operation I've had to slow down a little, 35 seconds is enough for me. With Mrs Swanson's permission we emailed a few subscribers to her service. Although not many replied, we did get some interesting motives for paying to see Mrs Swanson's 35-second pole dancing routine. A women called Carol Swanson from Gateshead claimed that she subscribed to the service to make sure that her mother was ok and insisted that she always switched her monitor off when ever the pole dancing started. Another reply was from a Mr B Willis of NY city who said that he had mistakenly subscribed thinking that the site was www.grammiesoncam.com a music awards site. When we asked why he was still subscribing after 3 years he said that seeing the relieve on Mrs Swanson's face when she used her inside loo which is situated next to the pole was a moment of joy and he wished to contribute to her financial well being when ever he could.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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