Sidney Skiddington, a top pathologist, amazed the psychic community when he revealed his amazing new method of fortune telling.
It is called Arsetrology', Sid said.
I made extensive studies of the shorts worn by accident victims' he explained.
In every case there was a mystic brown message written inside the shorts'.
It was as though the victim's bottie was capable of sensing the impending accident and giving a psychic warning'.
Don't talk through your arse', they scoffed, when I told them of my discovery'
But I persevered and am now able to give Arsetrological readings to my many clients'
The way it works is like this', he enthused.
I have developed a magic liner pad that picks up the chemical messages sent out from the bottie'
(These messages are now known to originate from subliminal bottie burps or S.B.B.'s as they are referred to by the scientific community.)
The liner pad is simply inserted, worn for 24 hours and then posted to my laboratory for psychic analysis'
Sid was defensive when asked which his favourite skiddie' was.
I've done them all, celebrities, royals, you name it.'
But I've got to say that my pride and joy is the royal skiddie'
I was proud when she showed me my her anus horriblis.
H.R.H was so pleased that I correctly predicted that Windsor Castle would burn down that she gave me the title, Arsetrologer Royal '
So if you want to find out what your future has in store for you, Skiddy Sid will get to the bottom of it for you, quite literally.
---with no questions arsked!