Written by Gail Farrelly
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Sunday, 11 July 2010

image for Apple Opens Shanghai Store, iPads Protest
The iPads refuse to go underground. Instead they lit up the town!

Saturday's opening of an Apple store in Shanghai did not go exactly as planned. A dozen iPads did not do their company proud.

On their arrival on Thursday, they kept on ordering Chinese takeout and ate much more than they should have. Then, on Friday, they pestered many prospective customers on the streets about where they could find the best Chinese laundry to get their fancy covers ready for the next day.

Saturday morning the iPad coalition refused to enter the Apple store. Apparently they were furious that it's an underground store and they had no interest in going there. Head iPad Ida commented that the iPads refused to go there for a reason. "It would be like hiding your light under a bushel, y'know? That's just not us."

Instead, the dozen iPads stayed above ground and put on a performance for a delighted crowd. They sang, danced, and had leg kicks worthy of Rockettes. A crowd favorite was their rendition of the 1947 song, "Slow Boat to China" (music and lyrics by Frank Loesser). The crowd sung along to this section of the song:

I'd love to get you
On a slow boat to China
All to myself alone

Get you and keep you
In my arms ever more
Leave all your lovers
Weepin' on a far away shore

The crowd was enthralled, but the performance was interrupted by Apple officials who arrived on the scene and attempted to force the iPads to go down into the store. The iPads refused. At last report, the rogue iPads were seen fleeing the scene, as fast as their little legs would carry them. Apple CEO Steve Jobs was chasing them but was no match for the crafty little iPads, who were able to speedily wend their way in and out through the crowds of Chinese pedestrians.

What happens in Shanghai doesn't stay in Shanghai. Sadly.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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