Written by IainB
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Friday, 25 June 2010

image for iPhone 4 - perfect for 'missed calls'
George Bush demonstrates how to hold the iPhone 4 to make a call

The latest generation Apple iPhone 4 has been officially revealed to have the most serious problem of any iPhone released to date.

The new iPhone 4 was meant to be the pinnacle of telephone technology, boasting more features than a feature packed feature-fest. Some of this is true. The apps are flawless, the speed impressive, the memory expansive, the interface sublime and the video awesome.

However, it doesn't make phone calls.

This slight oversight was missed by the testing department at Apple as none of them thought to make a phone call on it.

Early adopters are still massively impressed by the iPhone.

"It's a superb device," said Jonah Martins, of Manchester. "It does everything I want, plus I now don't get annoying service calls from Apple."

Some feel that the early adopters of the new phone are merely trying to make the best of a bad situation.

Apple have identified the problem: holding it causes a short across the two aerials of the phone, and have suggested that if you wish to make a phone call on the new phone, the best bet is to glue a string to the back of the phone and dangle it at arms length whilst shouting into it.

"You have to shout quite loud," said Gemma McGeek from Apple Labs. "The microphone is optimised to pick up voices from a few inches away to stop external noise, unfortunately at this range, there is no point, as the call will be terminated."

An independent survey has found that this will not impact on sales of the phone at all, as over eighty percent of iPhone users have never used the telephone functionality.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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