Written by Gail Farrelly
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Saturday, 5 June 2010

image for New Twilight Book to Be Offered Free Online, Internet May Crash
Twilight fans are out for blood.

Fans of Stephenie Meyer were ecstatic to learn that her just-published novella, The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner, will be offered free online, for a limited time, starting Monday at noon. Given that there are millions and millions of Twilight fans the world over, experts predict that this may cause a system-wide Internet crash. Uh-oh.

Who ya gonna call? Well, Al Gore of course. Anxiety over global warming will just have to go on the back burner for a short time, while he works on the looming Internet crisis. Meyer's fans figure who cares if the earth cooks for a little while longer. They just want their book.

Gore -- or someone else -- had better make sure the Internet is up and running on Monday. If not, there will be hell to pay. Bree Tanner is not one to be messed with.

Neither are Twilight fans. Rumor is that, if their book isn't available for free viewing on Monday, they are out for blood.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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