Written by VideoGame1012
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Topics: Time Travel

Wednesday, 28 April 2010

WASHINGTON DC - Scientists in one of the federal government's highest-security labs (whose name we cannot disclose, for obvious reasons) have made a historical breakthrough: they have finally figured out the secret to successful time travel.

For decades, generations of scientists have worked around the clock , in hopes of finding this "Holy Grail" of the science world, each hoping to be the one to discover it.

Last Saturday, one man got that chance. We will not reveal his name, so he will be referred to as Q. We got a chance to speak with him on Monday. he explained how he figured out the code: "All I was doing that morning was hanging a picture in my bathroom. I was standing on my toilet, when I slipped and hit my head on the counter...I woke up several minutes later, my head...clearer than it had ever been. All of a sudden...it came to me, as clear as a bell. I wrote it down as soon as it happened, in case I lost it."

Later that day, he brought the newfound information to his colleagues, who immediately began work on it. They have since built a fully functioning prototype of the device, which at this point is very large and heavy. We wanted to work with the lead builder on the project, but he was unable to be found. We were told that he had not been seen since the device had been built.

We cannot disclose specific information on the device, only some general facts about it, until they are ready to release it. The device is a stand-in pod, much like a shower stall at a gym. A magnetic field emitter pulses around it once activated, until it reaches approximately 88 revolutions per second, at which point a small beam (they will not tell me any specifics on this, so I apologize for being vague) activates, casuing a reaction that sends the passenger through time. They soon found out that adjusting the size and intensity of the beam will send you either sooner or futher into the past or present. The device has a user-friendly control box on it that lets you set this.

They tell me that they are already working on a smaller, portable version, which can be carried around in your pocket. Once released to the public, all they ask is that people do not mess around in or change the past in any way. Otherwise, it could disrupt the time-space continuum, causing a cataclysmic chain reaction that could change history as we know it forever.

We will keep you posted on further developments in this subjet.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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