Written by P.M. Wortham
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Topics: email, Spam, Monty Python

Tuesday, 13 April 2010

image for Spam Filters Fail; In-Boxes Filled with Pork By-Product
"I'm not quite Spam yet"

A recently released and popular Internet security product was found ineffective for blocking erectile dysfunction and Russian dating service E-mails, while further program bugs forced a simultaneous purchase of a widely known pork-based product.

Before unsuspecting consumers knew what hit them, personal and corporate electronic in-boxes were hit with numerous Spam advertising e-mails. Two days later, those same e-mail recipients started receiving individual cans of SPAM, a pre-cooked, rectangular slab of something other than Ham, from the post office.

Investigators hurried to determine the source of both Spam and SPAM attacks, and found the Synapses Company, provider of the Internet security software, had contracted with a British consulting firm for the latest changes to their software. The MPN Consulting Company of Leicester, U.K., contractor for the software changes, could not be reached for comment.

Local residents in Leicester laughed at the misfortune of the ill fated Americans, bombarded as they were with Spam in its various forms. Mrs. Edna Willingham of East Street near Barley Mow, commented, "Don't they know it's a ruse? Gullible colonists". When questioned further, Mrs. Willingham said, "Everybody here knows MPN stands for Myth Pony Not, and that's just an anagram." Willingham was seen chuckling as she walked away.

Investigators dug deeper into the MPN company, financial records and organizational chart. They found John Cleese, Terry Gilliam, and Michael Palin seated on the Board of Directors, while "Myth Pony Not" was just an anagram for "Monty Python". Initial doubts for Spam attack accountability were removed once the corporate vision statement was found on their annual financial report. It says simply, "Spam, Spam, Spam and Spam".

Terry Gilliam spoke for the company, indicating that the software glitch was unintentional and would be corrected at no charge to Synapses. As for the misfortunate mailing of canned meat to millions of Americans, Gilliam pointed to the Monty Python Fan website and a free cookbook highlighting a thousand recipes for the Ham derivative. "Spam and eggs, Chicken Cordon Spam, Spam Lettuce and Tomato sandwiches, the list goes on", says Gilliam. "And be sure to see Spamalot on a stage near you".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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