Written by Morgan Truce
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Topics: iPod, Windows

Monday, 3 January 2005

image for Apple Announces $99 iMac !
The New $99 iMac

CUPERTINO CA (AP) Apple Computer will announce at MacWorld Expo a sub-$100 Macintosh computer-aimed at iPod hungry Windows users. Until now, most Windows users were too cheap to kick in over a thousand dollars for an easy-to-use Macintosh computer, so they stuck it out with their bug infested PC machines. Now that many of these PC users own the delightful little iPods made by Apple, they long for a real Macintosh they can afford.

The new iMac is a slick little beauty that will retail for $99. It has the very latest G6 processor chip running at 3 Ghz., Super Drive, 1024MB RAM, USB 3.0, Firewire, 10/100 BASE-T Ethernet, 75K V95 modem, and support for AirPort. The unit comes with the new Apple Professional Keyboard with 186 keys and with a remarkable new style mouse with SIX buttons, scroll wheel, and mind reader.

The new iMac will not only run all the latest Macintosh software… but it will also run all Windows, Linux, Commodore 64, Radio Shack TRS80, Atari, Gameboy and XBox software as well! Although the new computer will not include a monitor in the $99 package, it is rumored that Apple will throw in a 23-inch Cinema CD LCD Display for the first 10 million purchasers of the new model iMac. Not a bad deal…

Apple Computer CEO Steve Jobs said, " I predict this is going to be a very hot item for Apple! I've been wanting to stick it to Bill Gates ever since the old Apple //e days. This package is definitely going to make those boys in Redmond get their shorts in a knot! If this doesn't get Apple more than 3% of market share, I'll eat my Lisa!"

Many PC addicts are grumbling about Apple's new offering:

"I would be the first one to rush out and get one--- IF it had de-frag that ran in less than 4 hours."

"What will I do with all the DOS commands I've memorized over the years?"

"Whaddya mean: no viruses?"

"I dunno… that G6 chip is probably a lot slower than my Pentium 100!"

"You just can't trust those Macintosh guys… they'll say anything to get you to switch!"

"Yeah, but will it run my Altair software? See? I told ya'… that Macintosh is a pile of crap!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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