NASA engineers announced yesterday that they were considering ways to extend the service life of the remaining shuttle fleet. They have sought suggestions from the public and several ideas may be tried.
Pfizer Corporation has offered to provide massive quantities of Viagra.
"They may give those old boosters a real boost, if they work as well for the shuttle as they do for us, but don't quote me on that," whispered a senior NASA official.
NASA was also impressed by the ideas from Sister Mary James' third grade class to send a box of band aides with the shuttle crew. These could be used to shore up repairs made by wire and duct tape. Hopefully, embarrassing and potentially dangerous mishaps such as the time the nose landing gear tires fell off while the shuttle is being rolled out for launch could be avoided.
And as insurance against possible failures, NASA was considering having Nancy Pelosi Deem that there would be no problems. Wisely, a plan to contract with the Psychic Connection will be used instead being shown to be much more reliable. Maybe there is hope for NASA.