Written by P.M. Wortham
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Friday, 12 February 2010

image for Nick Knack Launches 'Paddy Whack' 3D Game
No more two handed controllers. With Paddy Whack, you are now hands free to do as you please.

Internationally renowned software designer and animated pornography director, Nick Knack, announces a new 3D interactive game for use on all home gaming consoles, based on the fictitious character Paddy McFarlane.

As the name of the game, and Knack's directorial reputation might imply, the game is built around the central character's ability to acquire sexual partners, or at least enough pornographic material to toss one off on his own. The game includes customized goggles with retinal pointing and blink triggering technology, to allow the player to go completely 'hands free' during play. "A critical design consideration", says Knack. "Should Paddy actually score in the game, so can the player. The goggles allow the player to be hands-free and handle another type of joy stick, as it were."

Critics say that the concept is really a rip off an old DOS computer game called "Leisure Suit Larry in the Land of the Lounge Lizards". "Except that the new game's graphics are much, much, much better", says Gamer Magazine Chief Editor, Poindexter Lakolyfe. "That, and the hands-free goggles are a brilliant addition to joystick gaming".

Set for release this Spring, Paddy Whack will retail in the 'Mature' section of the gaming aisle for $149 US. The game kit comes complete with software cartridge, 3D goggles and an extra large box of facial tissue. Knack's marketing campaign includes the slogan, "Get it. Get off. No dinner tab required".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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