Written by victor nicholas
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Friday, 29 January 2010

image for Hubble Telescope Discovers Missing Socks
Deep Space May Harbour Missing Socks

Last May astronauts gave the Hubble Space Telescope an overhaul that many believe will allow the space observatory new life and tools to probe deeper into the origins of our universe by installing a new camera spectrograph watzit and finagling the thingamobobber.

The best times for this telescope are ahead of it says Hubble Project Scientist Ken Sembach. The public are going to be amazed!

The signature images from Hubble which turns 20 in April show careening galaxies, exploding stars, eerie nebulae and triple scoop banana splits.

Even more profound, soon after the upgrades, Hubble took aim for a dark patch of sky, gathering infrared light for a total of four days to detect the very faintest objects. The images revealed blurry dots. Just a handful of pixels the dots are images of objects that are the most distant and most ancient ever seen, small glob-like shapes that were shining already 13 billion years ago.

Enlarged by computer technology the globules took on shapes surprising to astronomers, puzzling bent oblong shapes in assorted colours and patterns not seen before including stripes, checks, argyle and even some pom poms.

Speculation regarding the new astrological features was rampant until a Eureka! moment by Sembach and his team linked the principle of the conservation of energy with string theory, spiral arm galaxy rotation, delicate items spin cycle and most surprisingly, missing socks.

The answer to the puzzle of the origin of the universe and where all those missing socks go may be one and the same providing a reasonable explanation for how the disappearance of matter is accounted for by string theory linkage of it to another place in our universe.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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