Written by Helen Tarnation
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Topics: rock, Geology

Friday, 25 December 2009

image for Geologist finds Earth's youngest rock
Mystery fragment found next to one of these

Often dated at more than two billion years old, rocks are considered to be the oldest parts of our planet. Geologists find them valuable indicators of the Earth's most ancient history.

Hubert Groth, an enterprising geologist with the Gerber Institute, determined to use his scientific skills to investigate rocks of more recent origin.

'This rock I discovered is no more than five days old', Groth said. 'Further tests will reveal startling events from last Wednesday.'

Initial tests indicate that the rock is faintly granular in cross-section. It falls into the silicate group, but also contains significant amounts of aluminum, iron, magnesium, potassium, and sodium.

'What I found most significant was the presence of calcium carbonate', said Groth.

Burton Periwinkle dismissed Groth's claims.

'Hubert was out at the construction site last Wednesday', said Periwinkle, 'hopping about like a madman, and shouting 'Eureka' at the top of his lungs. We thought to call the police, but he suddenly became furtive and ran away.'

'From the analysis of the rock, and the location of Groth's find,' added Periwinkle, a bricklayer, 'it's obvious he didn't find a rock. He found a lump of mortar.'

Groth declined to respond to Periwinkle's allegations regarding the nature of the rock.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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