Written by LisaPisa
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Topics: God

Monday, 21 December 2009

image for God Works in Mysterious Ways
God made this using his nose hairs

Sometimes he gets up at 4 o' clock in the morning and pops out to create a star or a cat, or sometimes he forgoes any form of clothing on the lower part of his anatomy and wears a fig leaf instead, and all agree that God does indeed work in mysterious ways.

While creating a new baby at the local hospital last week, God decided to have a bit of a laugh and make conjoined twins - and he did it all while gargling the Greek national anthem using a can of coke.

He appeared to some shepherds tending their flock three eeks back and they struck up a conversation as God went about mending a pair of womens shoes using a cabbage.

"He's as daft as a brush, that lad", said one of the sheperds as he recollected the bizarre meeting.

God has also been know to frequent a local hairdressing salon and cut the ladies hair using his big toe.

"He had a very sharp pointy nail on his big toe, he 'ad", said one customer, "and he gave me the best bloody bob I've 'ad in over 40 years. Me 'usband admired it greatly".

This paper has before reported on his unusual habit of ensuring that tea pots drip despite it clearly being within his Godly powers to make it not so.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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