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Topics: eyes, Shower

Wednesday, 11 August 2004

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Immediately after the meteor shower (Artist's impression)

Meteor storms and meteor showers are among some of the most beautiful sights one could hope to witness with your own or someone elses eyes. Certainly, anyone who has experienced a meteor shower and not been impressed may very well be described as blind, or possibly not actually looking up at the time. The awesome 'shooting stars' (as children and Vernon Kaye naively call them) are a product of a variety of scientific type stuff, too elaborate to go into here. Suffice to say, heat and friction are involved, or not.

Tonight sees this year's largest meteor shower, and with it, a deluge of one warning from the Government Department for Warnings; With the storm due to be visible to the nude eye shortly after 10pm this evening tonight, the GDW suggests that citizens carry an extra large or 'golf' style umbrella, just in case like, preferably made of industrial strength titanium (as much good that does). Although the umbrella is unlikely to stop any fragments large enough to escape the devastating effects of passing through our planets atmosphere, it makes for considerably easier measuring. Also you would be more likely to get your photo in the News Of The World should you be killed holding a comically ineffective umbrella.

A GDW spokesthing/person, Professor E. Goetripp earlier commented that as most meteor fragments streaming through our upper atmosphere disintegrated safely, there was little cause for alarm.

Prof. Goetripp added that the really really BIG meteor, (nicknamed 'KILLER' by those nice men at NASA) due to impact with the planet in November was the one to worry about, as it will probably be an extinction level event. Unfortunately he was unable to elaborate as his mum had tea on the table.

Similar effects to the meteor shower have been experienced by myself (under strictly controlled laboratory conditions). The effects lasted only for a short time, at a £50 a gram, I was unable to afford to extend the experiment.

Don't forget that information to help you make your viewing safe can be found within the Government's Emergency Procedures pamphlet, which should reach your home at some point after the event.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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