Written by susan allen-rosario
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Topics: Scientists, Florida

Sunday, 10 April 2005

image for Scientific Study:  Is A Frog's Ass Water Tight?
"The truth is out there, somewhere".

MIAMI, FLORIDA - Scientists from all over the world have gathered in Florida this week to study the age-old question: Is a frog's ass water tight?

"Since I was a little kid, my dad has asked me that question. Now that I'm a scientist, I want to find the answer. This is an important study, far more important than global warming or the mating habits of garden spiders. If we can get the funding, we will also research the "other" very important question: If a frog had wings, would it bump it's ass-a-hoppin'?" one scientist said.

Many area frogs have volunteered for the project. Kermit, spokesman for the group states, "We too were asked those same questions as tad poles. It's time we also knew the answers".

Experiments are planned to test both theories. One such experiment involves pumping a frog full of water, hanging it upside down to see if it leaks. When asked why any frog would put themselves through this. Kermit replied, "We just want the truth. If this is what we have to do to get it, so be it!"

Scientists have stated that they don't believe any frogs will be harmed in the experiments. But there is a calculated risk that these frogs are willing to take.

"We have gone over the possibilities with them and they seem to understand that no experiment is without its challenges".

"If a frog had wings" theory may be harder to test. Several ideas have been presented. One experiment suggested involved attaching mechanical wings to the frog to see if it's ass does bump when it hops. "We tried gluing them on with superglue, but the frog's skin was too soft and slimy and they kept falling off".

The volunteer frogs we spoke with are unsure what, if any, changes will be made in their lives by participating in such experiments. But they do think at least the truth will be known and the truth is out there, somewhere.

The next generation of frogs will be able to give a definitive answer to the question: Is a frog's ass watertight? Well, perhaps it is. We are awaiting further testing!

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