Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 26 August 2009

image for Roger Clemens and Jose Canseco To Star In Their Own Reality Show
A photo of Roger Clemens' Curveball Burger.

ATLANTA - A press release has been released stating that ex-major league baseball stars Roger Clemens and Jose Canseco have been signed to appear in a reality show.

It was announced that the show will revolve around cooking and is named Roger and Jose Cooking Up A Storm.

The show's executive producer, Bluffton Chuffcreek said that each episode will have a disclaimer at the end of the show stating that although playing baseball has, in the past, been known to cause some wayward players to partake in the experimentation of anabolic steroids that statement is no longer true.

It is promised that this sports cooking show will be better and more entertaining than Emeril Lagasse's' Rachel Ray's, and Ellen DeGeneres' cooking show.

On the first show Jose Canseco will show how to prepare Circus Catch Chicken Cacciatore, Designated Hitter Ham, and Sacrifice Bunt Cake.

And while the different food dishes are cooking Jose will fill up the time by singing the beloved songs of Lady GaGa, Taylor Swift, and Sanjaya Malakar.

During the second part of the show Roger Clemens will show the audience how to prepare and cook Curveball Burgers and Catcher's Mitt Macaroni Muffins.

He will also prepare a Grapefruit League Diet Grapefruit Salad using grapefruit, onions, okra, oregano, orange wedges, and oyster tails.

Clemens will not be singing on the show, but he will be performing a stand-up comedy routine consisting of baseball one-liners, athletic anecdotes, youthful yarns, and nostalgic narratives.

Sponsors for the cooking show will include Skoal Chewing Tobacco, Bud Light Beer, Marlboro Cigarettes, Bunyan Products (Makers of King Kong Athletic Cups), and The Gotcha Gotcha, which is a personal, at-home anabolic steroid detecting apparatus.

SIDENOTE: Pete Rose will be a guest on the first show and he will be demonstrating how to prepare his special recipe of Cincinnati Cheaters Cheesecake.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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