Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 13 July 2009

image for Philadelphia Pool Manager Accused of Racism Will Now Accept Black Kids
The shallow end of The Friendly Friends of Freedom Private Suburban Swim Club pool.

PHILADELPHIA - Josh Hoodmeister, manager of The Friendly Friends of Freedom Private Suburban Swim Club, which denied 60 black kids access to the club's pool has changed his mind.

Hoodmeister admitted that he was wrong in denying the kids access to the pool. He added that he had returned The Hip Hoppin' Steps Kids of Summer Camp their admittance fee check in the amount of $1,950.

But the pool manager said that he will now be glad to accept their check and that all of the little black kids can come on over and swim, just as long as it's between the hours of 11:30 p.m. and 3 a.m.

Hoodmeister was quick to point out the fact that the ACLU (American Civil Liberties Union) has filed a $37 million lawsuit against him, the pool organization, his mother, and his two grandmothers had nothing whatsoever to do with his change of heart.

Debbie Ann Watershire, the president of The Friendly Friends of Freedom Private Suburban Swim Club has even offered to buy 20 buckets of KFC for the entire group.

When asked if she didn't think that buying chicken didn't seem a little on the stereotyping side, Ms. Watershire replied, that she did not think so and that it wasn't like she had said that she was going to buy chitlin's, ham hocks, moon pies, or Ripple Wine.

The Philadelphia Morning Tribune interviewed each one of the 60 black kids and asked them how they felt about the situation.

Thirty of the kids said that they wanted to return to swim in the swimming pool. Twenty-seven said that they had no desire to return to swim in the racist pool.

One boy, 9-year-old Jefferson Willie Ashburton, said that he wanted to return to swim in the pool just so that he could pee in the pool.

Ten-year-old Titus Vondelle Washington said that he wanted to return to swim in the pool just so that he could (defecate) in the pool.

And 11-year-old Tyler Flodelle Franklin told the reporter for The Morning Tribune that Mr. Hoodmeister could take his mofoing swimming pool, his son-of-a-bitch lifeguard tower, and his friggin' pool's concession stand and stick them all up his white trash chundini! (ass!).

SIDENOTE: The Friendly Friends of Freedom Private Suburban Swim Club has now offered to buy each one of the 60 black kids from The Hip Hoppin' Steps Kids of Summer Camp season's tickets to the Philadelphia Phillies games, the Philadelphia Eagles games, and the Philadelphia Sixers games.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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