Written by Jalapenoman
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Topics: Naked, Swimming, skinny

Saturday, 11 July 2009

image for Scientists Determine Skinny Dipping Leading Cause of Naked Swimming
Watch this video. In about two minutes, three girls will walk onto the bridge, get naked, and then dive off.

Researchers at Johns Hopkins University have discovered that the leading cause of naked swimming is skinny dipping. This five year, eight billion dollar, double blind study released its findings in the latest edition of the prestigious New England Journal of Medicine.

Bathing suit manufacturers, who saw a dip in sales last winter, were relieved to learn the findings. "Now we know that our revenues didn't drop because we were making ugly suits or something," said Ocean Pacific designer Marta Hubwall. "When a treatment for this medical condition is discovered, we expect our December and January sales to increase again."

Research assistants spent much time hiding in bushes near lakes, rivers, ponds, and old swimming holes to monitor the naked swimmers. Urban research was done from rooftops as these graduate assistants used binoculars to watch swimming pools and hot tubs.

In all, eighteen thousand hours of video of skinny dipping was recorded (this is still being watched and sifted through to look for other possible findings). A dvd of this research will be made available to other Universities studying the phenomenon and is under contract to be distributed nationally by the makers of the "Girls Gone Wild" video series.

When asked how researchers came to the conclusion that skinny dipping was to blame for naked swimming, University spokesman Skip Wiffleball said that "the evidence fit the findings and answered the questions of the research beautifully."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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