Written by Wire Piddle
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Wednesday, 15 July 2009

image for Nikola Tesla Death Ray To Replace American Military - President Obama

Los Angeles, CA - In a stunning announcement, on the anniversary of inventor Nikola Tesla's birth, President Barack Obama has suggested he will scrap the american military establishment in favour of going ahead with the Nikola Tesla Death Ray. The White House says the savings will amount to trillions thus wiping out budget deficits for the next 500 years. American military personnel will be given early retirement packages.

The Nikola Tesla Death Ray was actually a proposal to construct a series of towers armed with 'death rays'- concentrated beams of particles that could travel through the air and literally fry anything in their path; basically a bug zapper that would work on a much grander scale.

Said President Obama, "I'm familiar with the bug zapper theory and I support it wholeheartedly. With a grant from a family trust of a very influential male celebrity who died last month under mysterious circumstances, we can move ahead at dismantling the american military establishment and free ourselves from the crushing obligations that it entails.

"We are the ones who make a brighter day, so let's start zapping. There's a choice we're making. We're saving our own lives. It's true we make a better day. Just you....and me."

"Let us realize that a change will only come when we... zap together as one. Thank you and God Bless America."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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