London - (Drowning Street Mess): Political midgets in UK Prime Monster Gorgon Brown's government - like Alistair Darling and Jackie 'Kennedy' Smith - have been detected emitting toxic molecules of carbon monoxide according to the Smithsonian's Submillimeter Array.
"At first we thought that the US National Security Agency was only spying on his predecessor Blair's minions," former NSA whistleblower David Murfee Faulk commented.
"Now we aren't so sure."
Scientists at MI5's humbug detection division meanwhuile have classified Brown 'dwarfs' as being on the dividing line between KGB implants and 'stars' - toxic entertainers and movie industry wannabes like Paris Hilton, hellbent on celebrity at any cost.
"As a result, Brown 'dwarfs' are sometimes called failed stars," MI5's head of Counter-Parasitology said today.
"A Brown 'dwarf' is less massive than a star, so there is less depravity available as well as less pulling power," The Smithsonian's Prof V Smart's commented.
"The serendipitous discovery of a bipolar molecular in some of these Labour government psychopaths offers the first strong evidence in favor of Brown 'dwarf' formation through complete gravitational and moral collapse."
Expect a UK military coup d'etat on Monday 8 December.