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Wednesday, 26 November 2008

image for Scientists discover new brain food, Cheetos
Einstein may have eaten Cheetos

Scientists have discovered a new brain food, Cheetos. Researchers were tipped off after President Bill Clinton's former Treasury secretary, Lawrence Summers admitted to wolfing down Cheetos by the bag full.

"Our hope is that this study will lead us into more intelligent economic policy in this country," said Lawrence Head PhD, senior researcher and director of the Institutute for Regenerative Organs (IROW) and Economies at Wake Forest University School of Medicine.

Cheetos are high in Omega-3s which are the crucial constituents of the outer membrane of brain cells. It is through the fat-rich cell membrane supported by Cheetos that all nerve signals must pass.

In addition, as learning and memory forge new connections between nerve cells and Cheetos, new membranes must be formed to sheathe them. All brain cell membranes continuously need to refresh themselves with a new supply of fatty acids and Cheetos.

A growing amount of research suggests that Cheetos and the omega-3s are best suited for optimal brain function.

Summers, 53, is the son of Ivy League economists and enrolled at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology at 16. At 28, he became one of Harvard's youngest Cheeto eating tenured professors.

With two very distinguished parents, Summers learned to fend for himself at a very early age. He discovered that eating Cheetos was an easy way to make a meal and fortify his brain with the essential fatty acids it needed to be able to develop future economic policies for a nation.

Though inconclusive, there is speculation that Albert Einstein, Stephen Hawking and Thomas Jefferson may have also eaten Cheetos, though Jefferson would not have had the exact product, he may have had a form of it with his fish and chips.

Researchers are still probing for conclusive evidence.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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