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Topics: evolution

Sunday, 23 November 2008

image for Human Evolution Process In Reverse, Says Top Scientists

GENEVA - A group of top world scientists known as "The BrainFrame" have been working together in Geneva for the past seven months on what's been called the greatest experiment on human brains ever.

The study involved mapping and decoding human brainwaves in living patients. 2.2 million people of different races, religions and cultures were examined for three months in Switzerland. After the three months were up, scientists then began reading and decoding all the data. What they came up with may surprise many: people aren't getting any smarter.

Dr. Ainus, the chairman of the study, says, "50 years ago, people lost an average of 300 brain cells in a given day. Currently, we are losing an average of 1400 brain cells a day."

Aside from losing an alarming number of brain cells, the study also reveals the average person's I.Q. will drop roughly one-quarter of a point every 6 months after puberty. While this doesn't sound like much, keep in mind a "genius" I.Q. level is 130 points.

"This is the first study of its kind," says Dr. Ainus, "but the results are very conclusive: the human race is slowly getting dumber. On the lighter note - some scientists disagree about the speed in which the human race's brain is degrading. While the final study shows it is slowly deteriorating, some scientists believe it's decaying much faster in some parts of the world - mostly in the United States."

While this comes as a shock to many, people who deal with large amounts of the general public on the daily basis seem to understand exactly what the scientists mean.

Another scientist involved in the study, Dr. S. Pedd, says, "at the rate the human brain is deteriorating, we will be back in the stone age by the year 2650."

Scientists and world leaders alike are encouraging people to watch the movie Idiocracy for tips on how to cope with this plague, as it is the closest to a documentary on the subject than any other film ever made (except for anything with Carrot Top).

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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