Written by Jesus Budda
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Topics: Sex

Wednesday, 5 November 2008

image for Sexually Active Man to be Deactivated
Jonny, pictured here with his twin brother James - who is a eunuch

A 30-year-old male who enjoys sexual experiences is to become the first human to have the sexual receptors in his brain permanently deactivated in a controversial new study.

Johnny Gulliver from Perth, Australia, has been in a constant state of uncontrollable erection since puberty hit in his early teens. Being an Aussie bloke this might not seem like such an issue at first glance but delve deeper to understand the difficulties his prominence has caused his life, career and play.

"I never have to use a chat up line because the girls immediately know what I'm after", says Johnny, "but you try shaking hands with relatives at a funeral or volunteer to take the Australian over 65's Downs Syndrome swimming team to the pool when you have a hard on splitting your shorts - it can get very awkward trying to explain why".

The doctors and scientists will remove a section of Johnny's brain, which stimulates naughty thoughts. They hope by targeting this area Johnny will no longer be inflicted with sexual desire and longing.

"I'm looking forward to being able to sleep face downwards for once in my life", said Johnny.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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