Written by Steddyeddy
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Sunday, 12 October 2008

image for The actual date of "since records began" is established
A new record is established somewhere

For many years, scientists have been trying to establish exactly when it was that "records began".

From flood data to financial disasters, and hot weather to sporting achievements, the public are constantly reminded by newsreaders, reporters and journalists that they are the 'best' or 'worst' since "records began".

However, following the carbon dating of Sir Magnus Pike, the professor of very strange things at the University of Life, based just outside the BBC, it has been established that records actually began in 1863 on a frosty morning in Cardiff, Wales, which is a country with a funny language near England.

On that day, more records were established than ever before in the annals of history, included wettest day, sunniest day, oldest man, spottiest girl - in fact so many records were established that the Official Recorder of Cardiff, a Mr Dai Quietly, put down his quill and parchment in protest, threatening never to write down a record until the advent of the personal computer.

Of course, since that eventful day, many new records have been established, including a criminal record from a group called Girls Aloud.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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