Written by P.M. Wortham
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Monday, 6 October 2008

image for Microsoft Announces "The Rock" to Counter Apple's "Brick" Technology
Gates Shows how big The Rock will be.

Jumping on the media bandwagon over recent announcements from Apple Corporation related to its secretive "Brick" project, Bill Gates announced plans to release Microsoft's "Rock" in Q1 of 2009.

Not disclosing any details surrounding the "Rock" product or its underlying technology, Gates left reporters and industry analysts wondering what the heck he was talking about.

Reportedly sensitive to Apple's advertising campaign showing Microsoft technology to be old, unstable and inflexible, Gates may have rushed the concept of the "Rock" to the press without truly knowing what it is. Industry insiders pointed out, "Nobody knows what Apple's plans are for the Brick yet, so how could Gates counter with a competing product? He's just angry because the Microsoft guy in Apple's commercial looks retarded."

Gates answered criticism by attempting to describe the "Rock" technology in more detail. "Better than any man-made, vitreous, rectangular brick system, the Rock will be a form in tune with nature, in fact borne from nature itself. There is nothing more solid and powerful than a granite stone, and that is the spirit of Rock technology."

One reporter followed with, "But you haven't answered a thing. What is the Rock? A new desktop? A new Mouse? A new notebook computer?" Gates replied, "It's new and it's better than Apple and that's all you need to know."

In a follow up interview at the Apple campus in Cupertino, CA, Steve Jobs responded, "Gates should know the Brick terminology is just a metaphor for an aluminum manufacturing process, right? There's like no actual 'brick' being sold by Apple. Seriously, who would think that? Let him sell rocks."

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