Written by Flaminroids
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Topics: Cars

Friday, 27 June 2008

image for New car expected to attract pricks and douche bags
Acuras new line to appeal to real cocksuckers.

Hiroshima, Japan- Acura unveiled its new luxury line of sedans at a Japanese auto show last week. Honda, which owns the luxury line acura, intended the new A/SS for American sales only because of the abundance of pure uncut assholes who need cars this expensive.

"We could never sell this car in Japan." said Honda spokesman, chief engineer, and karate champion Haru Nagayoki. "Its a real piece of shit but its shiny and expensive. Its going to get some dickless asshole laid for sure!"

Expected sales for the new Acura A/SS are considered to be high considering gasoline is now $5.00 a gallon and the cars 500hp V-8 gets an astonishing 6 mpg. Local dealerships have already filled orders for several thousand of these monstrous piles of steel and insecurity. Beverly Hills Acura dealership owner Scooter Mansfield was unable to keep it in his pants when he received his first shipment.

"I couldn't believe what a jackpot Acura dropped in our laps. I mean the car has rich cocksucker written all over it! And holy shit imagine 30% financing for poor assholes who want to look rich!"

"The cars $84,000 retail price is reflected upon the $852 cost to build it, $1,000 to put it on a boat and float it over, and the remaining is $82,148 of pure rape!" He added. Acura has also added extra loud mufflers, neon lights underneath and around the car, and optional spinning rims.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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