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Topics: Breasts

Wednesday, 19 March 2008

image for "Go Left, Young Man!": New Report on Breasts
Hans Knippler proved that appearances are deceiving

Mammariologists at the University of Brestlova have released a study of the female breast, originally funded during the Clinton administration. The study, expressed from the Dept of Tomography and Titiometry, under the leadership of Dr Melonie Juggs, has discovered that the left breast is on average 4% larger than the right one on th eaverage US female.

Ibn a chapter called, Copping a Feel, Titiometrician Hans Knippler has caculated that by going left when first sizing up( a technical Tittiometrical term) one would have examined the equivalent of a regulation size football field more surface area than by going right, over a lifetime.

Publication of the study is being held up by a discrimination law suit filed by LESBO, a titiometrical organization of Ladies dedicated to examining sizable breasteses. Their suit claims that just because Horatio Alger used sexist language in his famous dictum, Go West, Young Man, Go West, the scientists at Brestlov did not have to exclude women from their wise advice. An amica brief has been filed declaring the use of the word, dictum to also be sexist. The brief, also filed as a thong proposes: Suppose we compromise and call an old saw a genitalium.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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