Written by Cy Tesores
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Topics: NASA

Saturday, 2 February 2008

image for Proof of Water, Life and More on Mars
This isn't the mermaid picture - but if you look real hard you can just make her out

After months of NASA public relations debacles NASA has made strong showing in the public involvement arena as of late with definitive proof of not only water on Mars but of life on Mars. Not only life on Mars but 'hot' fish women as part of that life - namely a mermaid.

The feature found on NASA images has to be blow up very large, but it is unquestionably a mermaid. And if not a mermaid then perhaps a sea monkey which maybe grows to normal mermaid size, like some child's toy when she is in the water.

But don't let little things like this keep you from coming to the conclusion that is obvious. Mars has at least one fish woman.

NASA has dubbed it the 'FILF Find' and plan to fund all of NASA by starting up a web site next week named as such. An unnamed highly placed executive source within NASA has stated the choice of names was a tribute to the late Dr. Abraham Filf that discovered there was a strong attraction between many men and dirt of the figurative and literal type.

Another unnamed source within NASA, that is really a nobody and had to have his bespeckled ass pulled from a dark corner of a basement office, claims to be the progenesis (sic) of the new "FILF Find" name. He assured me that

"The name has nothing to do with the late Dr. Filf. Except that the naming choice has only added to the proof of the late Dr's. work. He would be very proud. We couldn't really use the term mermaid since that would conflict with 'mothers' so I decided to just use 'fish' "

When asked to clarify that statement he only blushed. This same source went on to confirm the statement by the NASA executive about the creation of a web site - "I'm working on the web site now. Just moments ago I was doing some research on similar sites. The biodiversity of our planet is amazing. Well... I guess I can now say the biodiversity of our universe is amazing and getting better every day. NASA will never have a funding issue again."

This is all welcome news as late last year NASA continued its multi-year trend of acting more like a member of the White House than a public science agency and garnered even more public dissatisfaction by withholding U.S. air safety survey data it collected. NASA rejected calls to publish the data only publishing it in figurative and literal terms at the 11th hour after congressional hearings and congressional orders.

Among most NASA watchers, the most prominent being the NASA Youth Watchers also known as N-A-Say-Wat (pronounced: NAY-SAY-WAT?) or as is known on The A Daily Show - NAMBLA (pronounced: Per-Verts!), the data was finally published only after a call from a secret U.S. space outpost on the dark side of the moon by none other than it's 2nd most prominent citizen Karl Rove. A notable fact is that Michael Jackson is the first most prominent citizen on-board. There have been further rumors that in a Pinky-and-Brain-esque plot to take over the world that Osama-bin-Laden may also be a member of the enclave with some infighting between Rove and bin-Laden as whether Mr. Jackson will fulfill the Pinky style role or await President Bush's term ending.

NASA's other high profile bungling over the last few years involved suppression or manipulation of scientific findings and attempts at censoring the free speech of their own scientist by pimple faced political appointees within the NASA hierarchy who are said to often have such poor demeanors because their wisdom teeth are just coming in. NASA's censoring has been most notably around issues of climate change research and in demanding the official discussion of the theory of the 'Big Bang' have an equal nod to a divine intelligent designer. A quote from such a political lap dog close to NASA and at the heart of some of these controversies, Georgina Douche (formerly Georgina Bag who sometimes uses her hyphenated name though oddly in reverse order from convention ) was very pleased to see the findings. Ms. Douche commented:

"Mermaids have always been considered special and with a great love for man. Now that we know there are mermaids on Mars we can rest assured they were intentionally placed there to welcome us. This whole big bang thing just went up in smoke. I know people haven't always thought I was right but now that I am 26 I know even more than when I was 24."

All in all NASA is on cloud nine. Public relations are at a new high, funding issues are about to be a thing of the past, a whole new group of people never before interested in NASA are now likely devoted followers and it's all because of a little mermaid.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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