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Topics: TV, Breasts

Tuesday, 8 January 2008

image for World's Biggest TV Allows Busty British Actress To Work Again
How many will measure up to the new large screen?

Watching Fat Club will never be the same again after the world's biggest plasma television was unveiled yesterday. The whopping 150-inch Panasonic widescreen TV will enable viewers to watch everything in larger than life-size which is welcome relief for some of Britain's greatest out-of-work actors such as Rene "Busty" Potentate who became too busty for the small screen.

"I had all but given up hope of working again," said Potentate (147), whose enormous size 50 chest will be welcome viewing for teenage masturbators everywhere. "But now the busty barmaid roles are flooding in once again cor blimey."

But because of her huge size, Potentate can only be comfortably watched from a distance of at least 30ft, making her too much of an eyeful in all but the largest bedrooms.

"I ain't worked since Carry On Coronary in 1962," said Potentate (142) who works in a car wash. "But now I'm a busty bird in Eastenders, a busty bird in a St Trinian's TV spin off with Russell Brand and a busty bird in a remake of 'Allo 'Allo also with Russell Brand."

Unveiling the new television, Panasonic's president Topit Fakismoto said: "Can you imagine sitting at home and watching the hooters on that little belter in Eastenders?"

While the enormous breasts were greeted with glee by enthusiasts everywhere, sad environmentalists were already predicting doom and gloom claiming that increased bedroom activity will consume 3,000,000 megawatts of elbow grease.

The televisions will be available in the UK soon. Other great new gadgets revealed at the fair included an MP3 playing photo album and an air guitar that actually makes a noise like a real guitar.

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